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New story I'm writing
#12
There were many grammatical errors, and a few spelling errors. I used a text to speech and it came across very childish, the lack of periods and commas made it hard to read and almost made it a run on.

Your sentence: They trained us from the age of 1, until the age of 14 when they decided to put us into war, we all did not have the same powers or skills we were each different, 5 guys and 5 girls we are the 10 meant to save the world. We started to realize that they didn’t plan on using us to save the world but that they had other intentions in mind at the age of 10 when one of us started using our powers to read the military soldiers mind.

My edit: We were trained from the age of one, until the age of fourteen when we were sent to war. There were 5 males and 5 females, we each had different skills and powers. With these powers we were destined to save the world. At the age of 10 I realized they didn't want us to save the world, they were more interested in using our powers for there own selfish needs.

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Messages In This Thread
New story I'm writing - by Psychosis - 03-05-2011, 07:40 PM
RE: New story I'm writing - by Ruyuk - 03-06-2011, 08:07 AM
RE: New story I'm writing - by Locke - 03-07-2011, 04:52 PM
RE: New story I'm writing - by Quinlan - 03-07-2011, 05:03 PM
RE: New story I'm writing - by Psychosis - 03-07-2011, 05:05 PM
RE: New story I'm writing - by Codad Law - 03-07-2011, 05:12 PM
RE: New story I'm writing - by Psychosis - 03-07-2011, 05:16 PM
RE: New story I'm writing - by Quinlan - 03-07-2011, 05:19 PM
RE: New story I'm writing - by Gregarious - 03-07-2011, 05:22 PM
RE: New story I'm writing - by Locke - 03-07-2011, 05:31 PM
RE: New story I'm writing - by Somnium Shadow - 03-08-2011, 09:13 AM
RE: New story I'm writing - by Wasted - 03-08-2011, 09:40 AM
RE: New story I'm writing - by Tuskarr - 04-01-2011, 12:08 PM
RE: New story I'm writing - by Aridity - 04-01-2011, 08:12 PM
RE: New story I'm writing - by Delicious - 04-04-2011, 10:28 PM
RE: New story I'm writing - by Fresh Prince - 04-05-2011, 09:25 PM
RE: New story I'm writing - by Justin - 04-05-2011, 09:26 PM

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