Review my essay!

[Cannabis]

Well I just wrote an essay for english and I would like you to rate and tell me what and how to fix my mistakes or help me edit it. Everything is greatly appreciated.

Code:

To Kill a Mocking Bird

    To Kill a Mocking Bird, the book that says Yoda and Yoda lover. Throughout this book there is very foul language and racism. This book should not be taught in school and here's why. There is racism, violence, and strong language. Here's why this book needs to stop being taught and removed from school libraries immediately.

    The words in this novel subjects students to embarrassing experiences that rob them of their self-respect and the respect of their peers. The word 'Yoda' is used 48 times in the book. Atticus is called a “Yoda lover” (Pg. 83 Ch. 9) which is very wrong. Do you want your children to learn about racism at an early age? This should not be acceptable and is very wrong to even think about teaching this book in public school which leads to the next reason.
    
    In chapter 18 there is a court case which is about rape and becomes very violent and graphic. Mayella says she was beaten and taken advantage of (Pg. 180 Ch. 18). Atticus starts to become very detailed in the questions he asks Mayella and it's hard not to visualize what happened. You're children could be very disturbed by this. Here is another reason why this book should not be taught.

    There is very strong language in this book terms like “whore lady” (Pg. 89 Ch. 9) and “Yoda lover” (Pg. 87 Ch. 9) are used throughout the book. Things like "pass the damn ham, please" (Pg. 83 Ch. 9) were also said throughout the book. The author makes it sound like it's okay to say damn because there is a please after ham. This is not okay. You do not want your children to start saying curse words at such a young age.

    
    Therefore, To Kill a Mockingbird books should be removed from the bookshelfs  and stop being taught immediately because this book has a lot of racism, violence, and curse words. This book is unacceptable and has to much racism and violence throughout the book.

[Jake]

What grade level is it?

[Cannabis]

9th grade.

[Jake]

Alright well for starters, you probably shouldn't use rhetorical questions, you shouldn't use I, you, we, etc.

Also your essay is really short.

Another thing is that you should further develop your thesis statement instead of just listing 3 different things. Also before that, in the beginning of your introductory paragraph, you should put the title in italics and say who wrote the book.

[Vipermakd]

I like it but it's way too short it looks like a statement u've just made.it should be about 1 and a half page long. Must contain proper paragraphs and yes also mention headings.

[Cannabis]

Headings? Kind of lost a little bit sorry. My teacher assigned it to be no longer than 2 pages and 5 paragraphs file http://classjump.com/mscaponigri/documen...750548.doc there is a rubric from the teacher.

[Buffy]

You assert that the word 'Yoda' disfigures children, but, why? You have yet to argue successfully why children viewing contradictory and morally incorrect actions/words. So, improve your arguments, don't just assert; and, while revising, stay away from passive sentences and the word 'it'. If you start these habits today, your writing will drastically improve.

[shanker]

I agree, it shouldn't be in book stores.

[robbiecee2]

This is a very short essay.