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First attempt at poetry

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First attempt at poetry
sam4 Offline
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#31
10-31-2011, 03:01 AM
Yes it's pretty good, But i advice to work little on Rhyme Scheme.
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Party Offline
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#32
11-04-2011, 03:47 PM
It was very great, You sure this is your first poem? Damn i really liked it. i suck at poetry.
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Starstruck Offline
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#33
11-05-2011, 02:20 AM
As long as youre passionate about what you're writing then theirs nothing bad about it.
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milopeach Offline
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#34
12-06-2011, 03:36 AM
Repetition of 'over' in the last stanza could be change in the second repeat of it. Otherwise, I thought it was brilliant. Nice work Hysteria!
"If you cannot explain something simply, then you do not understand it at all." - Albert Einstein
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AlbinoShadow Offline
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#35
12-07-2011, 07:20 PM
That was great Hysteria! I really enjoyed reading that to be honest. The approach of poetry is just to write to express, not to impress ^.^ I loved reading it.
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Hуѕтєяιa X™ Offline
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#36
12-08-2011, 03:54 PM
(12-06-2011, 03:36 AM)milopeach Wrote: Repetition of 'over' in the last stanza could be change in the second repeat of it. Otherwise, I thought it was brilliant. Nice work Hysteria!

Yeah, I saw that too. Thanks for the CnC. I'll work on it for my next piece. I'm hopefully going to write another soon, just need the time.
"Don't treat life as a losing battle, but as an ongoing challenge."
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gsc3po Offline
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#37
06-24-2012, 06:47 PM (This post was last modified: 06-24-2012, 06:48 PM by gsc3po.)
did you mean there to be any religious significance in this? it almost reads as though your using Jesus as you inspiration. im not religious, but it just jumped out at me.
(08-31-2011, 06:43 PM)LiteFire Wrote: I should take some advice from you! Im in poetry class this year and Im not really creative nor am I a good rhymer. Ill pm you if I have any questions. Smile

you still in poetry class?
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