09-12-2011, 07:49 PM
My mom has cysts in her left temporal lobe. It has given her epilepsy, seizures, brain damage, migraines, and possibly behavioral problems...
By behavioral problems, I mean intense emotional outbursts. Verbal aggression, huge overreactions, and she fails to show others common courtesy in the family, or public setting... We found out about the cysts this year. She has had these behavioral symptoms for, I would say, the last 6-7 years. I do not remember her being like this my whole life... To be honest, she has always been a little "manic", takes things very personally, and very emotionally powered. But the last 3-4 years, our relationship has been stained because it has gotten much worse. It has, and is hard for me to be sympathetic with her often.
She feels like I only love her because she is my mom, not because I particularly like her as a person. And to be honest, I do not blame her for fearing this because she makes mine, my Dad's, and our family's life very stressful with this over-the-top behavior. People are probably reading this and thinking I am ungrateful for all of the time and work she has put into raising me into the person I am today. I will tell you that much of who I am today is trying not to be like her... You are not the one who lives with her. Sometimes, I just feel like I have had enough! I have to put up with her aggression, and tip toe around her feelings so she won't freak out. When I was a kid, it troubled me greatly. Her words and behavior lead me to have incredibly low self esteem. And then I grew up and realized that much of what she told me about myself was bullshit, she was simply being mean to me for whatever reasons.
I need help with her. I don't know how much of this is her personality, or how much of it is these cysts that have taken effect on her brain. I want to respect her, and to be able to talk to her. But it is so hard for me, especially since she and I have such different views and personalities. She wants me to be someone else it seems like, and isn't happy with my aspirations and goals. I don't know what I do... I feel like I just ought to be patient and understanding, but at the same time I do not want to let her get away with treating me, and our family, and the random person who faces her wrath with such... insolence!
By behavioral problems, I mean intense emotional outbursts. Verbal aggression, huge overreactions, and she fails to show others common courtesy in the family, or public setting... We found out about the cysts this year. She has had these behavioral symptoms for, I would say, the last 6-7 years. I do not remember her being like this my whole life... To be honest, she has always been a little "manic", takes things very personally, and very emotionally powered. But the last 3-4 years, our relationship has been stained because it has gotten much worse. It has, and is hard for me to be sympathetic with her often.
She feels like I only love her because she is my mom, not because I particularly like her as a person. And to be honest, I do not blame her for fearing this because she makes mine, my Dad's, and our family's life very stressful with this over-the-top behavior. People are probably reading this and thinking I am ungrateful for all of the time and work she has put into raising me into the person I am today. I will tell you that much of who I am today is trying not to be like her... You are not the one who lives with her. Sometimes, I just feel like I have had enough! I have to put up with her aggression, and tip toe around her feelings so she won't freak out. When I was a kid, it troubled me greatly. Her words and behavior lead me to have incredibly low self esteem. And then I grew up and realized that much of what she told me about myself was bullshit, she was simply being mean to me for whatever reasons.
I need help with her. I don't know how much of this is her personality, or how much of it is these cysts that have taken effect on her brain. I want to respect her, and to be able to talk to her. But it is so hard for me, especially since she and I have such different views and personalities. She wants me to be someone else it seems like, and isn't happy with my aspirations and goals. I don't know what I do... I feel like I just ought to be patient and understanding, but at the same time I do not want to let her get away with treating me, and our family, and the random person who faces her wrath with such... insolence!