11-05-2010, 10:58 PM
I don't know what it is that has been bothering me, but it has been occuring on and off for a few years now. Every once in awhile, it seems as if I look at my life from a different perspective than I normally do. It's really weird, and I can't control it. One day I am content with my life and I am enjoying my day. The next day, I sit down and just begin to cry at how much I hate my current lifestyle.
I feel almost as if I am not living to my full potential. Today, I was sitting at my computer and weeping for almost an hour because I had begun to realize how much of a mess my life has become. I let my once-important grades slip, I never go outside to do things with my real friends, my relationship with my mother is suffering, and on top of that I am suffering from obesity. I'm not like a sumo-wrestler or anything, but I'm a little big for my height.
I sometimes look in the mirror and feel disgusted, worthless, and ugly. I have always had self-image issues. I know that is usually classified as a "girl thing" but I have always been that way. I am always paranoid about what people are thinking about me.
As I have previously mentioned in a seperate thread, I get bored / depressed easily. When I am bored and depressed, I turn to food to comfort. Because of this, it has begun to pose as a health risk as I have begun to over eat tremendously.
Overall, I am just not content with my life. I don't know how I can make myself better, and I don't know if I could if I tried. When I was younger, I contemplated suicide because of my depression issues.
Please don't suggest medication, as that is not an option for me. I do not wish to turn to medication for this issue. I was wondering if anybody had any legitimate suggestons as to how I can live a happier life?
Things need to change, because I don't want to feel the way I currently feel for the rest of my life. I might quit SF/HF for a month or so, in order to get my life back together.
I mainly wrote this because I am bored and I find writing things like this to be therapeutic, but I would love it if anybody had any suggestions.
Thanks,
Virtual Reality
I feel almost as if I am not living to my full potential. Today, I was sitting at my computer and weeping for almost an hour because I had begun to realize how much of a mess my life has become. I let my once-important grades slip, I never go outside to do things with my real friends, my relationship with my mother is suffering, and on top of that I am suffering from obesity. I'm not like a sumo-wrestler or anything, but I'm a little big for my height.
I sometimes look in the mirror and feel disgusted, worthless, and ugly. I have always had self-image issues. I know that is usually classified as a "girl thing" but I have always been that way. I am always paranoid about what people are thinking about me.
As I have previously mentioned in a seperate thread, I get bored / depressed easily. When I am bored and depressed, I turn to food to comfort. Because of this, it has begun to pose as a health risk as I have begun to over eat tremendously.
Overall, I am just not content with my life. I don't know how I can make myself better, and I don't know if I could if I tried. When I was younger, I contemplated suicide because of my depression issues.
Please don't suggest medication, as that is not an option for me. I do not wish to turn to medication for this issue. I was wondering if anybody had any legitimate suggestons as to how I can live a happier life?
Things need to change, because I don't want to feel the way I currently feel for the rest of my life. I might quit SF/HF for a month or so, in order to get my life back together.
I mainly wrote this because I am bored and I find writing things like this to be therapeutic, but I would love it if anybody had any suggestions.
Thanks,
Virtual Reality