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Short Story: Sherwood; Dark Ages

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Short Story: Sherwood; Dark Ages
Ally Mac Offline
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Posts: 390
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#4
07-02-2010, 06:12 AM
Quote:barbarians arrived
Should that be "the barbarians arrived"? or "some barbarians arrived"

Quote:"An army marches on Sherwood Castle. We must not let them take it." King Edrody said.
For such an important sentence, "said" is a little bit boring.

Quote:"Prepare the ballistas General; this army is moving on dragonback,"
Comma should be after the quotation marks.

In the second paragraph you have missed out a few comma's after the quotation marks.

I'd love to read a chapter 3!

~A
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Messages In This Thread
Short Story: Sherwood; Dark Ages - by Lord_Scorch - 06-25-2010, 08:40 PM
RE: Short Story: Sherwood; Dark Ages - by Eve - 06-25-2010, 09:49 PM
RE: Short Story: Sherwood; Dark Ages - by Ally Mac - 07-02-2010, 06:12 AM

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