Short Story: Sherwood; Dark Ages - Printable Version +- Support Forums (https://www.supportforums.net) +-- Forum: Categories (https://www.supportforums.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=87) +--- Forum: Life Support (https://www.supportforums.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=12) +---- Forum: Creative Writing (https://www.supportforums.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=59) +---- Thread: Short Story: Sherwood; Dark Ages (/showthread.php?tid=7991) |
Short Story: Sherwood; Dark Ages - Lord_Scorch - 06-25-2010 Hello; CHAPTER 1 Quote:The land of Sherwood was once a beautiful, serene, placid valley under the hazy sun. The vast sea held many different kinds of fishes; from carp to bass, it held it all. Sherwood Castle was long ago a daunting power, holding the top officials in the land within its walls. A high reaching tower, if close to it, blocked out the suns gaze and provided shade to the immediate surrounding areas. Then one day.. barbarians arrived.. Once powerful War Lords of exiled clans roamed the lands; recruiting people for their cause, assenting vengeance on those who cast them out a time ago.. -- CHAPTER 2 Quote:General Swot woke with a start. He heard the castle sirens wailing and he walked groggily to his door and flung it open. He stumbled to his horse and mounted so he could ride to the castle to see what the problem was. While riding to the castle General Swot became aware of the smell of smoke in the air. It hung heavy, threatening to choke all who inhaled it. He set his horse to a run and arrived at the gate of the keep some minutes later. The bridge was up; a very odd occurrence. This only happened when the keep was under siege. As far as the General could tell, no army was invading. Opinions are welcome. Thank you. RE: Short Story: Sherwood; Dark Ages - Eve - 06-25-2010 I want to read Chapter 3. RE: Short Story: Sherwood; Dark Ages - E'olithic. - 07-02-2010 It's awesome. Actually, I've wrote some short stories, too. Maybe I get brave so I will post here some, soon. RE: Short Story: Sherwood; Dark Ages - Ally Mac - 07-02-2010 Quote:barbarians arrivedShould that be "the barbarians arrived"? or "some barbarians arrived" Quote:"An army marches on Sherwood Castle. We must not let them take it." King Edrody said.For such an important sentence, "said" is a little bit boring. Quote:"Prepare the ballistas General; this army is moving on dragonback,"Comma should be after the quotation marks. In the second paragraph you have missed out a few comma's after the quotation marks. I'd love to read a chapter 3! ~A RE: Short Story: Sherwood; Dark Ages - Lord_Scorch - 09-09-2010 CHAPTER 3 General Swot passed through the narrow passage with ease. Though he may be a bigger man, this hidden entrance to the castle was well kept by the King's most trusted guards. The General could see the light on other side by now and a small amount of smoke with it. He began to sprint to the other side of the tunnel and when he looked out into the opening, what he saw was a sight a terror. The ground was scorched with dragonfire and men were writhing on the ground, being consumed by this deadly fire. The General stared for several seconds not comprehending what was occuring. He then snapped his revere and flat out ran to the nearest soldier to attempt to save him. The man was burning with the dragonfire. His legs were scorched and burning and the fire continued to move up his leg like a bolt of lightening. With quick thinking, General Swot attempted to kill the flame with his wool cloak.. only to see it burst in flames. The soldier writhing on the ground in such a way made the General's heart constrict. He made no sound for several moments then began to run to the palace. "What the hell happened?" he thought. On arriving to the palace relatively unscathed from the dragonfire, the general began to quieten his steps making sure he was not herd nor seen. His first destination was the King's throne room. On his way there, he saw no one from his shadowy hiding places. Everyone seemed to have disappeared. There was always a bustle of activity since it is time for the mid-day meal. Another odd occurrence Finally reaching the throne room, he felt a cold waft caress his skin. He shivered. This was no normal cold, not during the early summer. The throne is of course cooled, just never like that. General Swot opened the door slightly and peered in. To his surprise, he found the king sitting on his throne, still as a rock. "My King!" Swot bellowed. No response.. just a small hiss from the corner of the room. Swot swerved and scanned the area.. he thought he saw a sliver of black velvet move against the walls. The room was took dark! He could only see the king because a small light shone on him. The General ran up to his king only to find his passway blocked by an incredibly human-like creature. The General immediately pulled out his sword and swung at this thing. This create agilely side stepped the well positioned swing to the neck and grabbed the General by his throat. Eyes wide, the General croaked, "What.. are you.." The creature smiled malevolently and said, "I'm a dragon you foolish mortal, doing the bidding of my master." The dragon let the general drop. He looked up with a terribly hatred but did not swing his sword. It fell uselessly to the floor and he stood up feigning defeat. "I know the way of you pitiful humans; merciful, cunning, deceiving, and well knowledgeable in your own babble. This is why I've done something to your king no mortal has been through. "What.. have you done!" the General boomed. "Something not even my ancestors could have done.. Now, goodbye puny mortal. Enjoy your kingdom, while it lasts. Lord_Exile will be arriving very soon so be prepared. One with no sword, no castle, no king and no army, what chance do you have?" The dragon chided. The dragon slowly began to vanish taking all the darkness, cold, and hatred that enveloped the general with him. The General sank to the floor in despair. How was he going to save the place he dearly loved? The place he calls home. RE: Short Story: Sherwood; Dark Ages - Ḱø♭ε Ḃґƴαηт - 10-06-2010 Nice short story, keep up the good work. I would like to read more. RE: Short Story: Sherwood; Dark Ages - SpankDaHobo - 10-08-2010 It's a pretty good story for a beginner writer, you could try to add some spices to it to make it more interesting, there's not that much "sparks" to it. |