03-26-2011, 08:34 PM
(03-26-2011, 08:16 PM)Calx Wrote: I'm going to stress again my advice that I left on your other poem: you should focus more on narrative poetry. And tbh, this is too short for that. You need more description, more vibe, and more descriptively, coherent enigma, and more depth. And that's why I am rating this about 4/10. Take me where you are, let me hear the voice, let me see my surroundings, and allow me to mentally follow you during these different phantasms.
I appreciate your feedback man, I'll try to include a lot more detail into my next poem. Thanks.
Thanks to everyone else for the feedback also.