03-18-2011, 08:45 AM
Solidify,
WOW! What a burden you have been carrying around with you. There is obviously alot of emotions flying around and first I have to say that it is just natural for you to cry. Nothing wrong with it and it is actually a good thing. You obviously have been building this up for awhile and this last outburst of stress has obviously burst the bubble for you. You seem to be have been a very good friend to someone who has not been following his main head on his shoulders. If you are concerned about your firends mental wellfare and think he is suicidal in anyway, i would strongly recommend that you go with him to the doctors for a check up or call someone to help your friend through this. It appears to me that he is under a bit too much stress and has been making some bad decisions. To not break up with his girlfriends it because he has a relationship with her parents. Form what you wrote about your friend not wanting to give the parents the satisfaction of saying "told you so to their daughter"is your friends ego at play. Personally I am not impressed with your friends behaviour as he is not putting anyone infront of him apart from his own needs and ego. This is clear and there is no other way of looking at it. he is with a girl who boviously likes him and is a traditional girl (intimacy after marriage) and your friends hormones were so uncontrollable that he could not help himself but to sleep with his step-sister. Your friend is 20years and should know that this is wrong. The minute the child walked into the room and is exploring her own sexuality, your friend should have told her to leave in a stern voice and tell the folks. I won't go down the path of what should have or could have been scenario, but i like to give a perspective of how it could have been to show the state of maturity your friend has been and is displaying. I know you guys are mates and that is all good. i am sure he is fun to hang out with. But form what you have told me, i cannot help thinking that this man is incredibly selfish and thoughtless. He cannot think he knows what is right with his girlfriend and not with the young kid, this does not makke sense. It is wrong to stay with someone he is not attracted to anymore. If he really cares for her (which I do not believe that he does to be honest) then he will end it by saying that he slept with someone else and that breaks the trust in a relationship. He needs to be honest here so that this girl does not think she done something wrong as there is nothing wrong in waiting until after marriage. I am disgusted by your friends actions and also concerned for him. every action has a consequence and surely he knew what the consequences would be to sleep with his step-sister. Not only has he turned his life upside down, but also his fathers. This is very sad and unfair, and all to fulfil a sexual desire. Was a bad decision and not worth it. If he has learnt anything form this mistake, he will be straight with the girl asap, to not bring her into any crap that may occur from this actions, especially if there are any legal implications. This is my view and I apologise if it appears harsh or too direct. but no-one can think for your friend and there is a chance that he will be depressed, which is why i urge you to seek expert advise form where you are living now. You too Solidify can learn from now acting sooner. Not to say you could have prevented this as it must have come as a shock to you too and from what i read, it sounds as though you and the other mates tried to tell him to stop and break it off with the gf. But to not ruin any more lives, assess the situation objectively (dreams have a funny way of allerting us to what can be and inner most fears) and calm your own nerves down by paying attention to any mood swings, and other depressive beh. Call a doctor immediately. This is one advice I give strictly. Best of luck to you both.
WOW! What a burden you have been carrying around with you. There is obviously alot of emotions flying around and first I have to say that it is just natural for you to cry. Nothing wrong with it and it is actually a good thing. You obviously have been building this up for awhile and this last outburst of stress has obviously burst the bubble for you. You seem to be have been a very good friend to someone who has not been following his main head on his shoulders. If you are concerned about your firends mental wellfare and think he is suicidal in anyway, i would strongly recommend that you go with him to the doctors for a check up or call someone to help your friend through this. It appears to me that he is under a bit too much stress and has been making some bad decisions. To not break up with his girlfriends it because he has a relationship with her parents. Form what you wrote about your friend not wanting to give the parents the satisfaction of saying "told you so to their daughter"is your friends ego at play. Personally I am not impressed with your friends behaviour as he is not putting anyone infront of him apart from his own needs and ego. This is clear and there is no other way of looking at it. he is with a girl who boviously likes him and is a traditional girl (intimacy after marriage) and your friends hormones were so uncontrollable that he could not help himself but to sleep with his step-sister. Your friend is 20years and should know that this is wrong. The minute the child walked into the room and is exploring her own sexuality, your friend should have told her to leave in a stern voice and tell the folks. I won't go down the path of what should have or could have been scenario, but i like to give a perspective of how it could have been to show the state of maturity your friend has been and is displaying. I know you guys are mates and that is all good. i am sure he is fun to hang out with. But form what you have told me, i cannot help thinking that this man is incredibly selfish and thoughtless. He cannot think he knows what is right with his girlfriend and not with the young kid, this does not makke sense. It is wrong to stay with someone he is not attracted to anymore. If he really cares for her (which I do not believe that he does to be honest) then he will end it by saying that he slept with someone else and that breaks the trust in a relationship. He needs to be honest here so that this girl does not think she done something wrong as there is nothing wrong in waiting until after marriage. I am disgusted by your friends actions and also concerned for him. every action has a consequence and surely he knew what the consequences would be to sleep with his step-sister. Not only has he turned his life upside down, but also his fathers. This is very sad and unfair, and all to fulfil a sexual desire. Was a bad decision and not worth it. If he has learnt anything form this mistake, he will be straight with the girl asap, to not bring her into any crap that may occur from this actions, especially if there are any legal implications. This is my view and I apologise if it appears harsh or too direct. but no-one can think for your friend and there is a chance that he will be depressed, which is why i urge you to seek expert advise form where you are living now. You too Solidify can learn from now acting sooner. Not to say you could have prevented this as it must have come as a shock to you too and from what i read, it sounds as though you and the other mates tried to tell him to stop and break it off with the gf. But to not ruin any more lives, assess the situation objectively (dreams have a funny way of allerting us to what can be and inner most fears) and calm your own nerves down by paying attention to any mood swings, and other depressive beh. Call a doctor immediately. This is one advice I give strictly. Best of luck to you both.