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RedactedRedacted
cOld fus1on Offline
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#2
02-18-2011, 09:36 PM (This post was last modified: 02-18-2011, 09:36 PM by cOld fus1on.)
That's pretty decent, but the part 'bout "make you a happy women" , doesn't really fit, I mean, she's not more than one woman...,
You could say.., "when we raise our baby"
"I'll make you a happy lady"

But other than that, you did a good job, nicely written brah...
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Messages In This Thread
RedactedRedacted - by fuck_prohibition - 02-18-2011, 07:06 PM
RE: New Poem - by cOld fus1on - 02-18-2011, 09:36 PM
RedactedRedacted - by fuck_prohibition - 02-18-2011, 10:34 PM
RE: New Poem - by Iris - 02-19-2011, 11:41 PM

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