Poem

[bloodrain2011]

Loving you

My heart beats a little bit faster
When you lips brush against mine
And when I look into your eyes
I think that we stop time

My breath seems to quicken
When your bodies pressed against me
And when I feel your breath on my neck
I feel like it's almost to good to be

My mind seems to slow
No matter what we do
Cause time and problems melt away
And all I see is you

Original work by
Bloodrain2011

So what do you guys think about this? Give it to me hard...Bash me hard if you must XD

[Skawke]

IT SUCKSSSSSS.

J/k, It's really good xD, better than anything I could have done.

[bloodrain2011]

Ty...Made it pretty quickly...This is what I do. I actually wrote it for my gf just testing it out on you guys to see if I should show her or not.

[DAMINK™]

Girls like anything personal. This is personal thus you will get the cherry. Or kiss behind bike shed depending on age.
All in all i like it. Not bad.

[Canoris]

Loving you

My heart beats a little bit faster
When you lips brush against mine
And when I look into your eyes
I think that we stop time

My breath seems to quicken
When your bodies pressed against me
And when I feel your breath on my neck
I feel like it's almost to good to be

My mind seems to slow
No matter what we do
Cause time and problems melt away
And all I see is you

Original work by
Bloodrain2011

So what do you guys think about this? Give it to me hard...Bash me hard if you must XD

Copyright eh? Well, I like the intensity and the physical moments/emotions before letting go. Good descriptive words.... not all poetry has to have a rhyme scheme, but yours' is off. Overall a good poem though!

[bloodrain2011]

Girls like anything personal. This is personal thus you will get the cherry. Or kiss behind bike shed depending on age.
All in all i like it. Not bad.

I'm 17 so probably the cherry XD, thanks guys I appreciate the feedback

[jorgea]

You may want to work on this a little and correct grammar problems.













_________________________________________________________
find cheap flights find cheap airline tickets cheap air travel tips cheap flight search cheap plane tickets cheap airfare deals

[Tactical_Turtle]

It is actually really good. Keep it up.

[bigdomepiece]

Wow. That was actually pretty good. I especially love the layout of it. Good job and keep it up!

[Candyshop]

Nice poem! I think she will definitely like it! I think she would like anything you do for her that is personal