Burning Desire

[Colonel]

It doesn't flow. I take it english is not your first language?

Thanks for the feedback.
Yeah you r right, english is not my native language.

[Calx]

Thanks for the feedback.
Yeah you r right, english is not my native language.

Just work on our way of putting words together...that way you can place them in a manner which is more artistic than staccato and jarring.

[BlackChaos]

This is good
You can improve in grammatical areas, but that isn't always necessary. Just keep writing and don't stop. You'll learn a lot in due time.

[Loukas]

What kind of music do these lyrics go to?

[Colonel]

This is good
You can improve in grammatical areas, but that isn't always necessary. Just keep writing and don't stop. You'll learn a lot in due time.

yeah u r right, just keep writing and you will learn a lot.

[Ambition]

Thanks for the feedback.
Yeah you r right, english is not my native language.

If you're looking to become an English writer, the best thing you can do is practice. Proper utilization of spelling and grammar can really make-or-break your writing career.

Good Luck!