Confused and need help!

[md1988]

Hi everyone

I would really appreciate any advice anyone can provide me.

I just started a course at a local college and it was my first day of lessons. In my last class of the day a girl walks in, she was my first love and I haven't seen her in 8 years, we dated 10 years ago. I was shocked to see her there but now I feel so confused and actually like a teenager again. We did not end on good terms and there was a lot of bad blood between us. I know I am going to be seeing her around at least once a week but possibly more.

I don't know what to do, is it best to just keep my distance and avoid her or do I approach her and try and reconnect? Its been so long, I would imagine that she has grown and matured since I last knew her but I think she would also remember all of the pain that I caused her when we were young. I honestly don't know what to do and would really appreciate any advice

Thanks

[Clark]

Don't avoid her, that will make things more awkward for the both of you. Approach her confidently and ask her how she's been. If you were young, and the relationship ended badly, I'm sure she's over it and you should be too. It's water under the bridge and ignoring her will just make her believe that something is still wrong between the two of you.

[Juggalo-Lee]

Never avoid an issue, always face it head on given the time gap and you hopeful increase in maturity you guys can be civil to one another. Treat her as if nothing ever happened, say hi in passing be kind, respectful, considering women typically mature earlier than men you can assume she will not be childish either. Just do yourself a favor and refrain from bringing up any "sore spots" as that will only compound any stresses or tensions you might have going into the situation!

[Clark]

Never avoid an issue, always face it head on given the time gap and you hopeful increase in maturity you guys can be civil to one another. Treat her as if nothing ever happened, say hi in passing be kind, respectful, considering women typically mature earlier than men you can assume she will not be childish either. Just do yourself a favor and refrain from bringing up any "sore spots" as that will only compound any stresses or tensions you might have going into the situation!

And it if happens it happens, just remember the past is the past.

[md1988]

Thank you both so much for your kind advice. I did break the ice with her and we have hit it off really well, we have been chatting and getting to know each other once again. Just like catching up with an old friend really. I am a little worried that I may have opened a can of worms because we have been texting a lot the last few days. But she has a long term boyfriend so I doubt that any old feelings will resurface, at least on her part. I don't know about myself but I guess I can deal with it if it ever does happen.

[Clark]

Thank you both so much for your kind advice. I did break the ice with her and we have hit it off really well, we have been chatting and getting to know each other once again. Just like catching up with an old friend really. I am a little worried that I may have opened a can of worms because we have been texting a lot the last few days. But she has a long term boyfriend so I doubt that any old feelings will resurface, at least on her part. I don't know about myself but I guess I can deal with it if it ever does happen.

It's great to hear that you've made such progress. Good for you

[md1988]

Hi all

Thanks again for your words of advice before. I hoped I wouldn't ever have to make this post but here I am.

I honestly thought I could keep a handle on things but I have to accept really that since our friendship has grown I have started to fall for my ex once again. But I know she and I can never happen again, she is in a long term relationship and is happy. I can't speak to my friends about this because they have all been warning me to keep away to prevent this very situation.

I don't know what to do, telling her would ruin our friendship and I don't want to lose that.

I feel like a fool.