I’ve always identified as bisexual since my late teens, and that label really helped me understand myself. But lately, I find myself questioning whether it still fits. I’m in a committed relationship with someone of a different gender, and my attraction to others has quieted down a lot. It’s not that I don’t find people attractive, but it’s like the label feels less resonant, almost like I’m betraying it by feeling less fluid in my desires. I’ve tried reading up on different identities - pansexual, queer, even just 'partner-oriented' - but none of them seem to click perfectly either. I’m not ready to give up bisexuality, but it feels odd holding onto it if it doesn’t reflect how I experience attraction right now. Does anyone else go through phases where their identity feels off or outdated? How do you balance respecting your past identity with what feels true in the moment? Could holding onto a label hinder or help personal growth?

On 01/30/2026 at 8:20 AM, FuzzyPalZ said:

I’ve always identified as bisexual since my late teens, and that label really helped me understand myself. But lately, I find myself questioning whether it still fits. I’m in a committed relationship with someone of a different gender, and my attraction to others has quieted down a lot. It’s not that I don’t find people attractive, but it’s like the label feels less resonant, almost like I’m betraying it by feeling less fluid in my desires. I’ve tried reading up on different identities - pansexual, queer, even just 'partner-oriented' - but none of them seem to click perfectly either. I’m not ready to give up bisexuality, but it feels odd holding onto it if it doesn’t reflect how I experience attraction right now. Does anyone else go through phases where their identity feels off or outdated? How do you balance respecting your past identity with what feels true in the moment? Could holding onto a label hinder or help personal growth?

It’s really common for labels to feel a bit off or less fitting as life changes, especially when your relationship status shifts how you experience attraction day to day. I’ve felt something similar - holding onto a label like bisexuality felt important because it connected me to a part of myself, even when I wasn’t actively exploring attraction outside my relationship. It doesn’t mean you’re betraying that identity; it just means your experience is evolving.

Some folks find it helpful to think of labels as tools rather than boxes - things you can put down or pick up depending on what feels right at the moment. You don’t have to fully commit to a new label or drop the old one if neither fits perfectly. Your past identity is still a valid part of your story, and your current feelings are valid too. Maybe it’s less about finding the “perfect” label and more about honoring how you feel now while keeping space for whatever comes next.