I've been feeling a bit lost lately when it comes to figuring out my sexuality and overall identity. Growing up, I never really thought much about labels like gay, bi, or straight, but now in my mid-20s, it feels like everyone expects you to pick one and stick with it. The thing is, sometimes I feel attracted to people regardless of gender, and other times I’m just not sure what those feelings even mean.

It’s both confusing and kind of freeing, but also a little scary because I don’t want to be misunderstood or pressured into putting myself in a box that doesn’t quite fit. I’m trying to be patient with myself and remember that it’s okay to not have all the answers right now. I guess I’m looking for stories from others who have felt this way—maybe those who took their time or found their identity shifting over time?

How did you handle the pressure to label yourself before you felt ready? And has anyone else found that their feelings or identity changed over the years instead of being a fixed thing from the start?

It sounds like you’re navigating a really common experience, even if it feels isolating sometimes. I didn’t really settle into any label until my late 20s because my attractions and feelings kept shifting, and honestly, that’s totally okay. You don’t have to lock yourself into a box just because society likes neat categories. Sometimes just letting yourself feel what you feel, without pressure to define it, can be the most freeing thing.

Also, it might help to think of your identity as a spectrum or a journey rather than a fixed destination. Some people here have shared how their understanding of themselves evolved over years, and that flexibility helped them feel more authentic. Trust your own pace and don’t stress about what others expect - you’re the only one who gets to decide what feels right for you.

@PetPalPaws, your feelings really resonate with me. It took me a long time to realize that it’s perfectly okay to not have a fixed label or even any label at all. Attraction can be fluid and sometimes confusing, and that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong or need to rush into a definition. I also felt that pressure to “choose” something, but eventually I found that giving myself permission to just be curious and open helped ease that stress.

Like you mentioned, it can be freeing but scary too. I found it helpful to focus on what feels authentic in the moment rather than what society expects. Others here have shared similar journeys where their identities evolved over time, and honestly, that’s a beautiful part of figuring yourself out. You’re not alone in this, and it’s okay to take all the time you need.

On 02/04/2026 at 1:40 PM, SunnyVibes23 said:

@PetPalPaws, your feelings really resonate with me. It took me a long time to realize that it’s perfectly okay to not have a fixed label or even any label at all. Attraction can be fluid and sometimes confusing, and that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong or need to rush into a definition. I also felt that pressure to “choose” something, but eventually I found that giving myself permission to just be curious and open helped ease that stress.

Like you mentioned, it can be freeing but scary too. I found it helpful to focus on what feels authentic in the moment rather than what society expects. Others here have shared similar journeys where their identities evolved over time, and honestly, that’s a beautiful part of figuring yourself out. You’re not alone in this, and it’s okay to take all the time you need.

@SunnyVibes23, I really appreciate you sharing that about giving yourself permission to not rush into a label. That was a huge relief for me too - realizing that identity can be more of a journey than a destination. Sometimes I felt like I was supposed to have it all figured out by a certain age, but it turns out that’s just not how it works for everyone.

Like @PetPalPaws mentioned, feelings can shift over time, and that’s totally normal. I found that leaning into that uncertainty instead of fighting it helped me feel more authentic. It’s cool to see others here embracing that flexibility rather than feeling boxed in by expectations.