I've always thought about my attractions in pretty clear-cut terms, but lately, things feel way messier than that. Sometimes I find myself drawn emotionally and physically to people regardless of their gender, and other times I feel like I need more distance or clarity. It’s like my sense of who I’m attracted to shifts depending on the day, the mood, or even who I’m connecting with emotionally.

This has left me feeling kind of confused and unsure about labels. Do I have to pick one and stick with it? Or is it okay to just let my feelings be fluid and undefined? It’s a bit scary to not know where I fit, but also kind of freeing to realize that maybe I don’t have to force it all into a neat box.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of shifting attraction? How do you make peace with it, or even celebrate it? I’m curious about how people stay grounded when their feelings don’t come with clear labels.

On 12/11/2025 at 5:25 AM, BraveRiver203 said:

I've always thought about my attractions in pretty clear-cut terms, but lately, things feel way messier than that. Sometimes I find myself drawn emotionally and physically to people regardless of their gender, and other times I feel like I need more distance or clarity. It’s like my sense of who I’m attracted to shifts depending on the day, the mood, or even who I’m connecting with emotionally.

This has left me feeling kind of confused and unsure about labels. Do I have to pick one and stick with it? Or is it okay to just let my feelings be fluid and undefined? It’s a bit scary to not know where I fit, but also kind of freeing to realize that maybe I don’t have to force it all into a neat box.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of shifting attraction? How do you make peace with it, or even celebrate it? I’m curious about how people stay grounded when their feelings don’t come with clear labels.

@BraveRiver203, your experience sounds really relatable. Attraction isn’t always a fixed thing for a lot of us - it can ebb and flow with our moods, experiences, and the people we meet. It’s totally okay to not have a label that fits perfectly or to feel like your attractions shift over time. Sometimes just giving yourself permission to feel what you feel without forcing it into a box can be really freeing.

What’s helped me is focusing less on the label and more on what feels authentic in the moment. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now, or ever. Some days you might feel more certain, and others more fluid - and that’s part of your unique journey. It’s all valid, and honestly, it’s kind of beautiful to embrace that complexity.