How do I manage my anger?

[Ghostgirl]

I've been seeing my boyfriend for almost three years. We've had a rough time of it because he hurt me a lot. He never cheated but he still behaved inappropriately.

The worst I ever did was yell in anger. I said some really mean things but I never went out and sought revenge by doing the same things to him in return. So consequently, I feel like I'm stuck with the really bad memories and feelings. I don't imagine his are 100% perfect but I can't help reliving everything he did.

As a result, I'm angry a good portion of the time. Certain music/songs, movies, people, etc. bring back really bad memories and they infuriate me. I've been dealing with feeling angry for about two years now and I don't know if I'll ever completely forgive him even though I still love him. I avoid anything and everything that is attached to a painful memory and I do it almost obsessively as if I have no choice.

I don't know how to deal with the anger. I hate having those bad memories, I hate feeling like all these other girls got the satisfaction of knowing that, even though he was with me and knew me longer, he hurt me to spend time with them. But when I try to separate myself from him, I always run back but the pain and anger never fade, even if he is behaving himself now.

[nofear1999]

You need to realize, time has changed. It's time to move on, face him.
Face your anger
That's all I can really say.

[Carb0n F1ber]

Find someone else and "rebuild" all those sweet memories again ... A thorn should be taken out with a thorn...

[Effectzz]

To deal with your angry, how about taking up a physical hobby to release your anger?

[Crow]

Quickest way to get over him is to find another one.
Trust me on this one.

About the anger, yelling/punching bags/stress balls/
or whatever you can hear it helps, it's total bullshit.
The best way to stop an anger is to ignore it.
The more you try to relieve your anger on things,
the more your body will become addicted to being angry.

My advice is to ignore the anger(as much as you can)
and try to replace the bad things with good ones,
instead of just waiting for the bad things to just go away.

[nofear1999]

I agree with crow, punching bags are good.
Yelling doesn't do anything though and stress balls don't work as good as punching bags.
If you don't have any punching bags, punch your bed.

[Periwinkle]

Music really helps.

[Foresight]

You should really just move on, and find someone new. This will make you feel a lot better. As for controlling your anger, you can try finding new hobbies, and you could try meditation.
Here is a link to a meditation thread Uchiha Sasuke made: Here you go

[wills]

Everyone has rough times, it doesn't make you any different to anyone else. Everyone has ups and downs in there realtionships, and people who don't, obviously don't have a good realtionship, it's good to disagree, and argue with your bf/gf, as crazy as it sounds it really is. If the songs, and people and movies, are really giving you bad memories, why listen,watch or even speak to them people? Blank them out of your life, untill you feel like your strong enough to listen,watch,speak again. Have you ever though about this, i don't mean to get into details because it's nothing to do with me. But, maybe it's just your months, your period program could be freakin up, it does do that sometime, and yes I'm a guy and i know about this. You run back after you finish with him? Ghostgirl, it's called *Your in love* and yes it's possible to get out of it. Maybe go out with your friends more, go have some fun, it'll take your mind off things, and could take your mind off your boy friend.

[NekoChan]

Try reading my meditation guide. Its the best cure for anger. I was a very angry and violent person, but it all changed doing those things.