Emotional Abuse

[Katsamess]

Hi there I am new here. It took me 2 years to tell someone my story. I chose my best friend to tell. She has been my best friend for 26 years. I thought I could trust her, but she betrayed me. This is my story.

My daughter and her husband asked us over for a night of fun and some drinks. We spent the night, as to not drink and drive. We had a great time. Then hubby and I went to the guest room and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night my husband got out of bed to use the bathroom. I woke up to what I thought was him poking me in the back, (I think you know what I mean) I pushed it away and knew immediately this was not my husband laying next to me. I have spent 32 years with that man I know what his feels like. I froze! I had no idea who was in bed with me. The bed started to move and I thought whomever it was, was getting out of bed, but I was wrong. I finally got the courage to roll over and see who was there. It was my son in law. He was laying on his stomach masterbating. I asked him if he was insane and told him to get the hell out of the bed. He laughed and ran. The next morning I was so angry but didn't say anything to my daughter. When they said goodbye to us, I just looked at him and told him that he needed to behave himself. I told my husband in the car that I would never spend the night there again, but couldn't bring myself to tell him what happened...I thought he might beat the crap out of him. Anyway I kept this to myself for almost 2 years, and finally told my supposed best friend. She got together with them recently and apparently told them everything. My daughter says I am a lying psychopath narcissist bitch and to stay out of her life. This same man attacked my younger daughter as well, didn't get as far but scared the crap out of her. I just need someone to talk to me. My husband and daughter and her husband know that I am telling the truth. I have offered to take a polygraph, but they are expensive, about 500.00, I will sell all my jewelry to do this. I just need support and maybe some answers why someone who is suppose to be your best friend would go to them and spew. I am so lost, and have been dealing with this for 5 years. I found out the bff talked about Christmas time. There was a witness that I trust way more than her. Thanks for letting a stranger tell her story.

[Katsamess]

If anyone who has read my story knows of some place I can go to get some help online I would appreciate it. My Mom has been in a nursing home for 4 years and I got a message from Hospice that she is on a steady decline in her health. I don't think I have anything left in me to fight with. If I can't find someone here I need a place to go where I can get some help.

[Clark]

If I'm reading this right (and I may not be, it's 3 am and I'm very tired) Your friend did the right thing, you see she was just trying to warn your daughter about the man she's with. If this man attacked your younger daughter as well, then this is no longer a family issue. You should threaten to notify the police and tell your son in law that this a serious issue. You've done nothing wrong, and I can't imagine being in your shoes right now. If you need to talk more about this, feel free to contact me. Otherwise, I wish you the best of luck. I'm not sure of any online resources that could help you, but you can aways share your thoughts with SF.

Best wishes.

[Katsamess]

If I'm reading this right (and I may not be, it's 3 am and I'm very tired) Your friend did the right thing, you see she was just trying to warn your daughter about the man she's with. If this man attacked your younger daughter as well, then this is no longer a family issue. You should threaten to notify the police and tell your son in law that this a serious issue. You've done nothing wrong, and I can't imagine being in your shoes right now. If you need to talk more about this, feel free to contact me. Otherwise, I wish you the best of luck. I'm not sure of any online resources that could help you, but you can aways share your thoughts with SF.

Best wishes.

Thanks so much for listening and understanding. I had a very heartfelt talk with my friend and she swears on a stack of Bibles that she did not say anything. I believe her. The only people left to mistrust would be two of my sisters. He has sworn to get the family against me...calling me insane. I am trying to save up for a polygraph test but they are not cheap. I want to show my daughter that her husband has major issues. Talks like an infant when he is drunk, and she thinks it's cute. It's creepy. I don't think he was intending on rape, at all. He just gets drunk and does sick stuff. My daughter when she finally heard the truth out of me, said I was insane, and narcissistic. Anyone that knows me knows that couldn't be farther from the truth. I hate looking in the mirror...I have never had a good outlook of myself. I wouldn't make this stuff up. I really appreciate your response, and will continue to keep coming here. It feels good to tell someone after all these years. :-)

[Clark]

If I'm reading this right (and I may not be, it's 3 am and I'm very tired) Your friend did the right thing, you see she was just trying to warn your daughter about the man she's with. If this man attacked your younger daughter as well, then this is no longer a family issue. You should threaten to notify the police and tell your son in law that this a serious issue. You've done nothing wrong, and I can't imagine being in your shoes right now. If you need to talk more about this, feel free to contact me. Otherwise, I wish you the best of luck. I'm not sure of any online resources that could help you, but you can aways share your thoughts with SF.

Best wishes.

Thanks so much for listening and understanding. I had a very heartfelt talk with my friend and she swears on a stack of Bibles that she did not say anything. I believe her. The only people left to mistrust would be two of my sisters. He has sworn to get the family against me...calling me insane. I am trying to save up for a polygraph test but they are not cheap. I want to show my daughter that her husband has major issues. Talks like an infant when he is drunk, and she thinks it's cute. It's creepy. I don't think he was intending on rape, at all. He just gets drunk and does sick stuff. My daughter when she finally heard the truth out of me, said I was insane, and narcissistic. Anyone that knows me knows that couldn't be farther from the truth. I hate looking in the mirror...I have never had a good outlook of myself. I wouldn't make this stuff up. I really appreciate your response, and will continue to keep coming here. It feels good to tell someone after all these years. :-)

I'm glad you're starting to feel better. If I were you, I would just have a one on one conversation with your daughter telling her that you're not making this up, and that you only want what's best for her. If she's mature enough to hear you out, then you can start to make some progress. Tell her everything you've told SF, except make sure it's just you and her. Don't judge her or our her down when she says anything, just listen to her, and tell her everything.

[Katsamess]

If I'm reading this right (and I may not be, it's 3 am and I'm very tired) Your friend did the right thing, you see she was just trying to warn your daughter about the man she's with. If this man attacked your younger daughter as well, then this is no longer a family issue. You should threaten to notify the police and tell your son in law that this a serious issue. You've done nothing wrong, and I can't imagine being in your shoes right now. If you need to talk more about this, feel free to contact me. Otherwise, I wish you the best of luck. I'm not sure of any online resources that could help you, but you can aways share your thoughts with SF.

Best wishes.

Thanks so much for listening and understanding. I had a very heartfelt talk with my friend and she swears on a stack of Bibles that she did not say anything. I believe her. The only people left to mistrust would be two of my sisters. He has sworn to get the family against me...calling me insane. I am trying to save up for a polygraph test but they are not cheap. I want to show my daughter that her husband has major issues. Talks like an infant when he is drunk, and she thinks it's cute. It's creepy. I don't think he was intending on rape, at all. He just gets drunk and does sick stuff. My daughter when she finally heard the truth out of me, said I was insane, and narcissistic. Anyone that knows me knows that couldn't be farther from the truth. I hate looking in the mirror...I have never had a good outlook of myself. I wouldn't make this stuff up. I really appreciate your response, and will continue to keep coming here. It feels good to tell someone after all these years. :-)

I'm glad you're starting to feel better. If I were you, I would just have a one on one conversation with your daughter telling her that you're not making this up, and that you only want what's best for her. If she's mature enough to hear you out, then you can start to make some progress. Tell her everything you've told SF, except make sure it's just you and her. Don't judge her or our her down when she says anything, just listen to her, and tell her everything.

She will never believe me until I can prove it to her. She has a comfortable life with everything she needs. She would probably rather see me dead than believe me. The only thing I can do is have a polygraph test to prove I am telling the truth. Don't remember if I said this but he did something similar to my younger daughter so she had no problem believing me, and neither did her husband. He is a sick human being, who gets drunk on his ass and talks like an infant and the daughter thinks it's cute. God I just get the heebie jeebies thinking about him. I appreciate you talking to me about this, I have told a couple others after keeping it to myself for 6 years and I feel that only a few truly believe me. Hubby does, thank God, youngest daughter of course does and her hubby.

[FeaturedBmx]

I am sorry to hear this. I think that the 500$ would be worth it to help fix the relationship. You might want to try and sit her down and try and fix it that way though.

[Katsamess]

I am sorry to hear this. I think that the 500$ would be worth it to help fix the relationship. You might want to try and sit her down and try and fix it that way though.

Yea I am working on saving for the polygraph. It's going to take a long while to get we are kind of in financial crisis at the moment, but I will do it. I am not even sure she will trust that process as she is so brainwashed by him. He offered to pay for it even, and when I said lets do it, he said we just want you to be well, what a fricken cop out. I told him I said be careful what you wish for, your wife trusts you and you are going to prove what I am saying is the truth, and you could lose her. There is just no reason in the world that anyone could make stuff like this up. To what end, which is why I didn't tell anyone for a couple of years. Now I wish I had never put up with the screaming from her to tell her what happened. I have lost a daughter, Mom died 2 weeks ago and I am a mess. She didn't even call to tell me she was sorry her Gramma died. Thanks again for letting me spew...I have no where to go. The people who will listen are sick of hearing it. I kind of think I am dealing with a bit of PTSD.

[FeaturedBmx]

I am sorry to hear this. I think that the 500$ would be worth it to help fix the relationship. You might want to try and sit her down and try and fix it that way though.

Yea I am working on saving for the polygraph. It's going to take a long while to get we are kind of in financial crisis at the moment, but I will do it. I am not even sure she will trust that process as she is so brainwashed by him. He offered to pay for it even, and when I said lets do it, he said we just want you to be well, what a fricken cop out. I told him I said be careful what you wish for, your wife trusts you and you are going to prove what I am saying is the truth, and you could lose her. There is just no reason in the world that anyone could make stuff like this up. To what end, which is why I didn't tell anyone for a couple of years. Now I wish I had never put up with the screaming from her to tell her what happened. I have lost a daughter, Mom died 2 weeks ago and I am a mess. She didn't even call to tell me she was sorry her Gramma died. Thanks again for letting me spew...I have no where to go. The people who will listen are sick of hearing it. I kind of think I am dealing with a bit of PTSD.

Yeah no problem I don't mind listening. You kinda have to put yourself in your daughters shoes though. She loves him and it is hard to believe someone you love would do that. I was telling my sister I didn't like the guy she was with for several reasons and she still keep with him and didn't want to listen to me. She soon found out for her self that he was cheating on her. I think it would happen to the best of us though I could never believe someone I was in love with would do something so messed up until I witnessed it myself. If your daughters boyfriend is doing that kind of stuff still she will figure it out eventually.

[Clark]

I am sorry to hear this. I think that the 500$ would be worth it to help fix the relationship. You might want to try and sit her down and try and fix it that way though.

Yea I am working on saving for the polygraph. It's going to take a long while to get we are kind of in financial crisis at the moment, but I will do it. I am not even sure she will trust that process as she is so brainwashed by him. He offered to pay for it even, and when I said lets do it, he said we just want you to be well, what a fricken cop out. I told him I said be careful what you wish for, your wife trusts you and you are going to prove what I am saying is the truth, and you could lose her. There is just no reason in the world that anyone could make stuff like this up. To what end, which is why I didn't tell anyone for a couple of years. Now I wish I had never put up with the screaming from her to tell her what happened. I have lost a daughter, Mom died 2 weeks ago and I am a mess. She didn't even call to tell me she was sorry her Gramma died. Thanks again for letting me spew...I have no where to go. The people who will listen are sick of hearing it. I kind of think I am dealing with a bit of PTSD.

Yeah no problem I don't mind listening. You kinda have to put yourself in your daughters shoes though. She loves him and it is hard to believe someone you love would do that. I was telling my sister I didn't like the guy she was with for several reasons and she still keep with him and didn't want to listen to me. She soon found out for her self that he was cheating on her. I think it would happen to the best of us though I could never believe someone I was in love with would do something so messed up until I witnessed it myself. If your daughters boyfriend is doing that kind of stuff still she will figure it out eventually.

This exactly.

Your daughter is with a cheater, and the second she discovers what kind of man she's with, she'll think twice about continuing a relationship with him.

Cheaters get caught eventually, it's like living a life of crime.