04-24-2012, 11:43 PM
I know I must not be alone in this. I feel as though I'm trapped here. I assumed the feeling would get better, but it just gets stronger.. I can't look at the sky, star, or planet without wanting to be there instead.. I want to see what the sky looks like from another world- somewhere else in the universe. I get so depressed when I realize that it will not be possible in my lifetime, it actually ruins my days. I feel that this physical form just holds me back from going to the places where I want to go. I do not particularly believe in a god- or an afterlife.. So, I don't really think I will get to see it in death, either. I just think maybe if I die my brain would create the images and feelings for me. The hallucinations from a dying mind. I wouldn't know it wasn't real. That simple thought that I could have it for a second means more to me than life right now. Don't get me wrong. I don't hate life. I feel like I've had some good fun, and don't regret living for a second, but that I don't want to be held back anymore. It's a constant, nagging feeling. I've unintentionally detached myself from loved ones.. Is there anything I could do to snap out of this?