I feel lost, getting anxious.

[WreckLessLV]

SP I have a issue. Let me tell you a little about me.

I am growing up at a "Border Town" so.... there is a lot of Mexican people where I live. Whats the problem right? I see guys in their 20's riding bikes layerd in chrome thinking their boss. I notice a big lack of caring from the general populace and I have come to guess it's just culture.

Now that isn't my culture and I don't want to be who I'm not, so I'm partially an outcast, by that I mean not really popular despite my best efforts.

I don't have any brothers or sisters, and live with my mom (she has a house and decent job so living good.)

I visited my relatives on the East coast (South Carolina), and suddenly, I had 'brothers' a complete family, & their friends had the same interests as I did! My main interests are Electronic music, paintball, cross country, and PC gaming.

Now what happens when I try to express my interests where I currently live (it's near San Diego). People just... don't get it.
"Techno, like that gay sh*t?" or, "Cross country isn't a real sport."
And so on and so on.

No when I take my interests to the East coast with my family. This is my cousin responding to me -> "Techno? here let me show you an awesome new artist!", "Yeah dude Cross Country is really big at my school" & paintball is really popular over their.

I met up with one of my cousins friends, guess what? He was playing HardStyle (like techno) and we went to go to cross country practice over summer break. I have a family, and friends with my interests over their.

It pains me every day that I think about it. I've had a taste of my perfect life as if only a "demo or trial run" and now reality sets in, where people think my sport in stupid and techno is "that gay music?" But my interests fuel a burning desire to achieve and work for a better me.

Every time I leave there house on the East Coast, I might actually cry a little bit. Now I'm straight and I really never cry but, this makes me.

My mom says "just enjoy it while your here"

But I just Cant. Its to perfect, I instantly felt like a circle trying to fit into a square fitting when I got back.

I apologise if I'm rambling but I'm a Sophmore in High School and I don't want the last 2 years of my high school life to be like this! I'd never forgive myself I'm so mad/sad just typing this. If you could relate or offer serious advice please tell me I really need it.


*edit*
Some more information on me, I am into programming and psychology. At my HS there is one psychology class, and It's almost over. I just fell so out of place, it kills me on the inside. I used to have 2 girlfriends (not at the same time ) But one moved away, and the other is kinda slutty.

My friends, well I had my two best friends, but both had to move away.
My best friend that moved, he called me, trying to hold back crying I could hear, and I was the first person he called, and said "It's been fun, huh buddy?" and I was just, crushed. The person I could open up to, we had the same interests, was gone forever. He now is living in Phoenix.

I had it all and lost it all.
Now I can't seem to get a GF, I just don't see the point in it all, there's no special girl that I have seen. I can't find any honest friends as well, the only guys that I see are liers that only look out for them self. I just want an honest friend.

People say I act more mature then my age, I don't party because I think its, not for me. I've just had a hard time getting people to call me, Its always me calling them. I fell that I am mature enough for a serious girl friend, and I just don't know how to do any of this.

I think I has aspergers syndrome also. This is the first time I have said that. It explains a lot of what I am going through, or mabie I am just incorrectly matching the two?

Thanks if you read all of this, it means a lot to me.

[D3xus]

The fact that you're different from the people where you live makes you unique; never lose sight of that among anything.
And I have/had asperger's syndrome as well. Basically I had a lot of trouble coping with it when I was younger; now it's not a big deal.
You always have friends on the internet, know it or not. Out there there's at least one person who respects you or looks up to you in some way shape or form.

[Ravioli]

Hey bro you are the master, just stay as you are now! If the people are different it shows how unique you are.

Your time is coming bro!

-Ravioli

[WreckLessLV]

I love to hear all of your replys, thank so much.

Thats my other problem, I'm on the internet to much. I live in a small town so there isn't a 'hangout'.

and Ravioli I hope my time is coming, I'm ready for it.

[Ravioli]

I love to hear all of your replys, thank so much.

Thats my other problem, I'm on the internet to much. I live in a small town so there isn't a 'hangout'.

and Ravioli I hope my time is coming, I'm ready for it.

Sure bro your time is coming. I believe in you!

Only the best for you!

-Ravioli

[milopeach]

Paintball, PC Gaming - 2/3 of my favourite hobbies. You sir are on the money right there!!

Being on the internet isn't a bad thing, just make sure it doesn't control your life! Go out, have fun. I even go to the movies a few times by myself as others just don't want to, It doesn't stop me. I want to watch the movie.

I can also guarantee that there is at least! one more person in your town that has similar interests as you do, You may not be looking hard enough.

If you have hobbies, partake in them and enjoy them, Don't let others ridicule you because they don't like change or difference in a person. You are unique, it is how you will be and always have been.

[WreckLessLV]

^^ Milo ^__^

I have a good friend but it's funny, the only real reason we are friends is due to are simularities (techno, PC gaming) but won't talk in public too much.

However I don't want to be alone =(

[WreckLessLV]

Can someone offer some more advice to me?

[Rainbow Dash]

Just be yourself. Don't lose sight of why you are. If you are really that tired of where you live, ask your family to move. It could be for the better.

[Shutdown™]

Like RD said, be yourself. Don't try to be somebody you're not. Keep looking for people with the same interests as you, but keep your head up when people don't agree with you. Talk to your mom about how you feel, is moving an option?
You mentioned having Aspergers, I would suggest you find that out as soon as possible. If you do have it, there are LOTS of help programs you can get into, that might make life easier.

Keep us updated man.
Best of luck.