Emotional Suicide or Sacrifice?

[The Lonely Shaman]

I've been thinking for a while now, for the past 4 years I've had this amazing friend who I've looked after through thick and thin, whenever she needed me I've always been there, I've held her in my arms while she cried and comforted her, I've held her because she couldn't sleep due to anxiety and she just drifted away in my arms. I'm not afraid to admit i love her; but she only thinks of me as the older brother :/ (I'm not by the way but you know how some friendships turn out). Recently she's been happier than normal; but she's drifted away from me and i cant help but feel it was me that was making her upset, not to mention i think she fancies my mate which doesn't make things any easier on me, I've always put her first no matter what and in most case it was my emotions that had to be put on the sidelines.
I'm starting to think someone/thing is punishing me for something I've done in the past but I always tried to make up for them, I don't want to have to put my feelings on the sideline any more but i don't want to lose her, i can't, recently she's been the only thing keeping me alive (honestly no joke), do i sacrifice my feelings once more for the sake of our friendship or do i lose her and try to find that illusive silver lining. I've always had things i would happily die for but this is the first time I've had worth living for.

[Resistance]

Wow, I am really sorry to hear that. I am not one to speak, but I suppose you can try talking to her... Thats really sucks, someone fancies your friend lol

[The Lonely Shaman]

i've tried talking to her about in the past but she just tried to dismiss the convo, as if she knew what was coming and she told me she loves me as a brother, and maybe more oneday but until then she doesn't want to ruin things :/ it's as if she fancies me but dosn't want to lose me as a friend if/when it goes wrong.

[Cosmos]

I've been in a position before similar to this, where I start to like my friend - best in this case and it only turn out to be something I never wanted to happen. I'm not going to lie to you - as unoriginal as it may sound slowly letting go is the only great option. Being suicidally depressed over one friend in your life isn't exactly the best idea nor best road to go down.

[The Lonely Shaman]

she isn't the reason i was contemplating suicide she was the reason against it, for the past 11 years i've been trying to hold everything together by myself for everyone else, everything was going down the crapper first off my parents, then my siblings and then my friends, it was if there was no end to all this pain and hassle, and there she was, an answer to all my problems, it was before i met her i was thinking of suicide, i'm afraid if i lose her those thoughts will comeback,
I understand where your coming from though, i'm just afraid that both of our insecurities will destroy what we have now as friends

[Nemmyy]

Don't sacrifice your feelings again. Confront her and if she tries to dismiss the conversation again don't let her. She's not the only one who needs to let out emotions and be comforted.

[Tunasty™]

Dude sorry to hear this but all i can say is try to talk to her. thats the best choice

[Guest]

No one is letting me speak to her, our friends are telling me to get away, she wont meet me, she hasn't spoken to me properly since april, my family are falling apart again. i don't know how much longer i can take this, i don't have any strength in me left to fight, i need something to go right very soon or i dunno what i'll do.

[The Lonely Shaman]

No one is letting me speak to her, our friends are telling me to get away, she wont meet me, she hasn't spoken to me properly since april, my family are falling apart again. i don't know how much longer i can take this, i don't have any strength in me left to fight, i need something to go right very soon or i dunno what i'll do.

---

i've just been told by one of her friends that when shes around me she's as if nothing else matters, that it's the one time she feels care free, and the way she acts around me is totally different then when shes around other people, she can be herself around me, if that isn't a good indication then i'm sorry but i don't know what is. but she contradicts herself when her friend says she doesnt fancy me, i think i'm gonna have to bite the bullet aren't i?

[G0dfath3r]

I don't say that,I understand your feelings because I myself have never found in such a terriable case.What you have do just calm down and don't be upset,than try to talk her by any method either direclty or indirectly and express your feelings that you love her more than your friend.If she has something for you in her heart,She will come back to you.
And for GOD sake don't take any silly decssions at the moment,She will not going to meet you in heaven.Life is like a glimse which once passed away never came again remember these words.Trust me turn your eyes you'll found true love.She is not the only one whom you deserve.There is life man try to pass it in enjoyable way.