05-04-2011, 02:48 PM
(This post was last modified: 05-04-2011, 02:49 PM by Do Not Forget Me.)
Hello, I'm from Hackforums and I'd thought I would come here because this is the right place for the support and help I need. Please just keep reading and help me. I'm going to tell you everything, just to see what you think I should do.
I'm a boy who is homosexual. I am still in the closet and no one knows except for my psychologist. I started seeing my psychologist when I was 14 years old, and stopped when I was 15 and a half because each session was too expensive. The reason I went to a psychologist was because my parents said I should talk to someone because I had all the symptoms for someone who was depressed. Before I started seeing him, I cut my wrists and when I stopped seeing him for about the first 3 months, I began cutting again. I'm now turning 17 and I haven't cut for about 1 year. I was on seratonin medication for a long time, and he kept doubling the dose, but it never worked so I just stopped taking the pills. I tried killing myself once by ingesting a ton of pills at a farm party, but it just made me puke for a day. I refused to go to the hospital when my parents told me to. I am going into my last year of high school, and I can say I'm happy for everything in my life, except for my love situation. I've never had a significant other, and I can honestly say, I can't go another year being alone. I have tons of friends don't get me wrong, but there's this guy that I really like. For the past year we've been flirting and I think that he likes me, but he is also in the closet. I keep convincing myself, "he's gay, he has to be", when for sure I actually don't know. When I think about him, I feel sick and giddy. I can't stop thinking about this guy, ever, and I mean ever. I think I have an obsession with another guy that could be completely straight. What should I do? Should I go back for help? Should I tell him how I feel? How should I come out? Should I even come out at all?
I hope you read my story, and I hope you can help me. The reason I posted this here is because frankly, I don't have the guts to tell anyone else that I have a crush "obsession" with another boy. It's just not in me.
Thanks for your time,
.....
I'm a boy who is homosexual. I am still in the closet and no one knows except for my psychologist. I started seeing my psychologist when I was 14 years old, and stopped when I was 15 and a half because each session was too expensive. The reason I went to a psychologist was because my parents said I should talk to someone because I had all the symptoms for someone who was depressed. Before I started seeing him, I cut my wrists and when I stopped seeing him for about the first 3 months, I began cutting again. I'm now turning 17 and I haven't cut for about 1 year. I was on seratonin medication for a long time, and he kept doubling the dose, but it never worked so I just stopped taking the pills. I tried killing myself once by ingesting a ton of pills at a farm party, but it just made me puke for a day. I refused to go to the hospital when my parents told me to. I am going into my last year of high school, and I can say I'm happy for everything in my life, except for my love situation. I've never had a significant other, and I can honestly say, I can't go another year being alone. I have tons of friends don't get me wrong, but there's this guy that I really like. For the past year we've been flirting and I think that he likes me, but he is also in the closet. I keep convincing myself, "he's gay, he has to be", when for sure I actually don't know. When I think about him, I feel sick and giddy. I can't stop thinking about this guy, ever, and I mean ever. I think I have an obsession with another guy that could be completely straight. What should I do? Should I go back for help? Should I tell him how I feel? How should I come out? Should I even come out at all?
I hope you read my story, and I hope you can help me. The reason I posted this here is because frankly, I don't have the guts to tell anyone else that I have a crush "obsession" with another boy. It's just not in me.
Thanks for your time,
.....