Friend is Suicidal

[Guest]

Hi SupportForums,
So here goes,
I have know this girl for years since primary school, we even dated a few years ago.
she is the type of person that brings happiness to your life without even being there, i still love her but she doesn't see that way and only comes to me for advice.
about a year ago she was sexually assaulted by a f***ing a****** ever since then she has been seriously depressed, constantly cutting herself and she has even over dosed a few times, she is currently getting counselling but it isnt working for her but she is still trying to kill herself. I would just like to ask is there anyway i can help her, i didn't want it to come to this but i can't handle trying to help her anymore it is making me depressed.

[Kaleb]

Have you talked to her? At all?

[Guest]

Yes i have, i have tried helping her but to be honest i have no experience with suicidal people.

[Wasiqkhan]

Spend as much time with her as you can, make her feel good, so good that she'll stop thinking of suicide.

[gilzar]

well my friend when it comes to depression from my own i have learned that only you can help yourself get out of it, but this is not always right in every situation so i would say since she is cutting herself she is trying to cope with it, i would say you have to be there for her, make her open up to you even if that means saying things about yourself that no one else knows. Obviously this is a very private (in lack of better words) discussion you will try to have with her. first make sure you two are alone and will not be interrupted for a long time, start with small talk and gradually build up to more in depth talks.(having a game plan might help) Or if you dont want to feed around the bush you can get right to the point but do it slowly like ask her is there anything she wants to talk about and you be the first one to open up by sharing your feelings and concerns about this. Tell her how you feel and that you will do anything to help her and all she has to do is ask, if your lucky and she opens up try to find out what is bothering her (other then the obvious) like does she blame herself for it or something like that. Dont give any advice since it may do more harm then good, just be their and support her and give her a better outlet other then cutting herself. I would personally say after her opening up with me i would give her my number (if she doesnt already have it) and tell her when she feels like cutting herself to call me instead no matter the time or place. Good luck my friend.

[Guest]

She already has my number and ill try not giving her any advice, i never thought that it could do more harm than good, thank you for the advice i needed it. Ill just stick with trying to get her to open up more, yet again thank you.

[Techie©]

she woud probably gain more benefit from profesional help from a specialist rape service to help her deal with the rape,the cutting is probably a coping mechanism she has come to use,to help her get what she is feeling out,or to numb whats in her mind,or to forget for a bit with the natural synthetic opiates that the brain releases when the body is hurt.

a councilor can only help in general,they wont understand so much the rape side of it?
coud her trauma have developed into a form of PTSD:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PTSD
?

if she isnt on any right now, medications might help,but probably not within the typical SSRI/SNRI market as those directly stabilise certain neurological chemicals within chemical depression rather than help towards reactive depression [caused by trauma/issues of some sort].
maybe an antipyschotic and an anti epileptic for helping deal with all her symptoms directly,has she ever had inpatient treatment?
woud wonder if there were any centres specificaly for people who have had to deal with this stuff,as it can work for alot of people far better than community treatment if theyre at the stage where theyre regulary suicidal and self harming to.

and it sounds like as her friend,also need to get help from somewhere to deal with how are feeling, the samaritans for example:
http://www.samaritans.org/talk_to_someone.aspx -can email them,it doesnt matter what country are from this route.
they dont get back instantly,but are supposed to be a lot of help.

[Jeffrey]

she woud probably gain more benefit from profesional help from a specialist rape service to help her deal with the rape,the cutting is probably a coping mechanism she has come to use,to help her get what she is feeling out,or to numb whats in her mind,or to forget for a bit with the natural synthetic opiates that the brain releases when the body is hurt.

a councilor can only help in general,they wont understand so much the rape side of it?
coud her trauma have developed into a form of PTSD:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PTSD
?

if she isnt on any right now, medications might help,but probably not within the typical SSRI/SNRI market as those directly stabilise certain neurological chemicals within chemical depression rather than help towards reactive depression [caused by trauma/issues of some sort].
maybe an antipyschotic and an anti epileptic for helping deal with all her symptoms directly,has she ever had inpatient treatment?
woud wonder if there were any centres specificaly for people who have had to deal with this stuff,as it can work for alot of people far better than community treatment if theyre at the stage where theyre regulary suicidal and self harming to.

and it sounds like as her friend,also need to get help from somewhere to deal with how are feeling, the samaritans for example:
http://www.samaritans.org/talk_to_someone.aspx -can email them,it doesnt matter what country are from this route.
they dont get back instantly,but are supposed to be a lot of help.

This is probably the best advice.
I would talk to your parents about it too. It may be easier for the parents to discuss it.

[exhale]

Its good that she's seeing a consular, thats means she took a step in the right direction. Anything she tells you that might give of the slightest hint that she is going to kill herself, take it seriously. If she says something like "Everyone hates me, i wish i was dead." Take it dead serious. Tell her guidance consular or an adult she trusts. Don't take the burden on your shoulders, let professionals help you (and her.)

I would try to find out whats making her depressed, because i'm thinking there could be another thing bothering her. Maybe she is afraid of being raped again? If thats the case, theres usually self defense classes around most towns/cities in the U.S (you should come too, if you think that would help.)

One important thing to remember is too never act annoyed or slightly mean to her. For example if she says things like it your fault, agree with her and NEVER complain or act like its not your problem.

Other than that i wish you and her the best of luck.
:

[FamousMassacre]

Think happy thoughts ^_^

Make love with her.