Take the "STEP" away

[hiddenmeanings9188]

My grandma passed away yesterday and I am very emotional about it. She was my best friend, we talked on the phone at least once a week and she knew everything about my life. Unfortunately, I had classes so I couldn't rush out of town with my family. I was going to drive myself up after my class today, but then my parents came up with this bright idea that I should go with my step-mom's parents instead. Well, they have only been in my life for 5 years, and just barely at that. I am somewhat bitter at them because over the holidays when I stayed with them, they kept introducing me as their "STEP-granddaughter". Granted, I know that I am a "step" but I never consider that something necessary to say when introducing someone. It made me feel like complete crap. It is so awkward being around them and trying to have a conversation with them about stuff, because they are hardcore old-fashioned and they don't like that I'm all grown up and they had no role in making me who I am. They want to "raise me", but I'm pretty much done. I'm almost 19, and I'm set in my ways and beliefs. But now I have to drive for 7.5 hours with them. It is going to be the most awkward and trying thing to deal with them AND the death of my very close grandmother, I just don't know what to do. I'm tired of being a "step" grandchild, because even though technically I am, I'm still family right? Why automatically put that elephant between us?

[Sam]

First of let me say I feel deeply for your lose. It's one of the hardest things to loose a loved one so I sympathize deeply with you.

It sounds like your step-mums parents should treat you with a bit more respect and maturity. I don't see the harm in maybe raising the subject of your Grandmother and talk about good times and how close you were. Maybe hint something like "She was so close to me she felt like a Grandmother not a step grandmother"

I think you need to make them realize how close you were and maybe just try and ignore the quips that they say. Rise above it


-Sam

[Cybr]

It's not necessary to introduce someone as a "step" family member; rude in my opinion. Tell your parents how that makes you feel, so you can drive up there by yourself, instead of with your step mother's parents. That's just an awkward situation to be in.

[IllusionSlayer]

I just went through the same thing about a week ago. If it helps you're currently entitled to a breakdown where you start yelling at people. When confronted tell them you're going though a lot right now.