What to do when i want to make love to my "step" sister.

[Jack.]

Hey there SF.

Basically, When i was 5 my parents split up my dad found a new GF and have been together ever since (NOT MARRIED) his GF has 2 daughters and 1 son. We not long ago moved into a new house it was just me now 19 and her now 18 and my dad and his GF. I have had these feelings for her since we moved into the new house when she was 16 and ever since its just been me and her in the house (apart from my dad and his GF) every single day i see her she is very pretty and just want to hold her. I know this is kind of weird cause she is kind of a sister to me but i just have strong feelings for her real strong. I dont want to say out straight that i like her in this way because then the mood in the house will be very aukward to live with. I cant really explain how much i like her and how much i just want to tell her this.

About 1 month ago she got a BF i was gutted ever since me and her BF have been ok mates, i dunno if it was a good thing or not but i told her BF that i like her alot so if you mess her around it will be the last thing you do. You would think as she now has a BF i would move on and get my self a GF but no i cant i just have feeling for her and its really hard to move on. I really dont know what to do .

I think she knows that i fancy her cause i try and make hints because its hard for me to hold in the feelings i have for her.

I really dont know what has caused me to have all these feelings for her, is it cause she is the only person i have been around alot.. i dunno im confused!

A bit about her, she has a really nice figure, blonde hair, blue eyes, really smart and out right gorgeous. She is very understanding and doesnt give a crap what people think of her. She is a VERY nice person but also is a wild blonde. But VERY smart.

am i a creep? i dunno what to do .

[Eve]

It sounds like a really tough emotional situation that you are in. I am sympathetic.

No, you are not a creep and I don't think the situation is rare, either. You met someone whom you like under unusual social circumstances and you are trying to resolve it. You clearly care for this girl a lot. It is difficult to rationalise tender feelings and for whom you feel them.

The reality is that although you are not technically related by blood, you are socially related as though you are brother and sister. Although not rare, those in a similar situation are often judged harshly, by themselves and others.

Yet you need to be firm with what you feel now. Though challenging, you have to steer your mind away from thoughts of a relationship with this girl. It is not going to be easy and you will have to consciously focus on other activities and people who will not remind you of her. You need to create emotional bonds with others.

I shall reply again after giving more thought to your post. Stay strong.

[Jack.]

It is really hard to walk away tho at the moment im at my mums house which is like 300 miles away, and i still cant stop thinking about her.

Is it because im always around her iv just got really strong feelings for her.. is it love?

Ive not felt this way about anyone else maybe this is love? and for the rest of my life i will be, what if?

its weird because i sometimes think of if i did say what i thought to her i think off the way she will take it and the worst thing would be she feels diffrent. I dunno im really confused, i think maybe i should face facts and just walk away, maybe i should move in with my mum or better yet get my own place. But ill still think, if i got my own place when she comes round ill have more of a chance to tell her how i feel there than at home with my dad and her mum there... One day im going to have to say something.

Btw sorry about my grammer and spelling, when i was 14-16 i was going through a bad patch which made me not go to school for the last year and a half.

[Eve]

I personally think that you have formed a strong emotional bond with her, partially because you are around her often and partially because she sounds like a very understanding person. You admire her intelligence and her attitude and we often like the people we admire.

While I know you want to share how you feel with her, you have to understand that it is a risk which can have consequences. How you feel also depends on how much you focus on the topic -- the more you think about it, the more confused you feel. You have to step back from the situation for a while and give your mind a rest.

You raise the point that you have not been in school for a while and that concerns me, because school can provide a focus and a goal which you need now. Is she going to school at the moment?

[Jack.]

Nah school was a while back, school in the uk finishes at the age of 16 i missed my last school year because i was a really really bad child lol always in trouble with the police ect and also getting in trouble at school in the end i was kicked out off school and wasnt able to return to do my GCSE's. I'm now 19 and she is 18, I do regret all that but all i can do now is move on.

Btw thanks alot eve your very understanding and spot on with the way i feel.

[Eve]

I strongly encourage you to seriously consider resuming your studies. It will not be easy to return to the routine, having been away from it for a while. Having known people who chose not to study or to return to studying after a few years away, I am speaking from second-hand experience here. You drastically reduce opportunities for yourself and your future.

You deserve to earn for yourself the intelligence you admire in her already. 19 is young. Don't imagine that studies is something that is lost to you already. It isn't, and I hope you give yourself that chance again.

[Foresight]

This is a very trick situation. If you tell her how you feel it could totally blow up in your face. I really don't think that you should tell her that you like or love her. You're around her very often, and that's why you feel that way about her. I suggest that you find another girl and get with her. Who knows, if you get with another girl you may end up liking her more than you step sister.

[Pink Floyd]

First off, you're not a "creep" at all, many people all around the world have similar experiences/situations like this. I don't know what your lifestyle is, or what your parents would do if they found out, but I would try your hardest to pinpoint your feelings on whether or not you're going to say something. In situations like these, it's best to completely think about it from all perspectives, and not let your mind go to crazy, to the point that you just frighten yourself with unrealistic outcomes.

You will probably be faced with more challenges in the future, being that you live with her and will personally witness her change as a person. But part of life is facing challenges, so look them right in the eye and go for them with what you believe is the best. As for your step-sister, if you two are close, I would talk to her about everything she would be willing to listen to. Most likely, depending on your bond, you will be able to tell if she has feelings for you to.

Remember to be careful in deciding what to do, you can never truly know the outcome of a choice you're contemplating.

Good luck

[Nemmyy]

I agree with what everyone else had to say for the most part, but if she's as understanding as you say she is I would probably tell her.
Good luck man.

[rooneyful]

um...maybe u should tell her..unless u are sure that she wont run around the house screaming ...we have a perv in our house....she will understand u buddy..
good luck mate...