Spoiler (Click to View)
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at the passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
51. Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone's shoes.
52. Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, screaming "Aaughh! Get them off!"
53. Challenge your neighbor to a "Tic-Tac-Toe" tournament.
54. Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other passengers like they are crazy.
55. Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and wearing only a bath robe. Mutter something about how husbands/wives always come home early just when it's getting to the good part.
56. Make chalk drawings on the walls.
57. As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting "Down! I said down, dammit!"
58. Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who gets on.
59. Try to get a game of "Twister" going.
60. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at the passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
51. Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone's shoes.
52. Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, screaming "Aaughh! Get them off!"
53. Challenge your neighbor to a "Tic-Tac-Toe" tournament.
54. Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other passengers like they are crazy.
55. Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and wearing only a bath robe. Mutter something about how husbands/wives always come home early just when it's getting to the good part.
56. Make chalk drawings on the walls.
57. As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting "Down! I said down, dammit!"
58. Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who gets on.
59. Try to get a game of "Twister" going.
60. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away.
**EDIT**
More:
Spoiler (Click to View)
1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
2.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3.
3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4.
4. Call a Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
5.
5. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?", and let the doors close.
6.
6. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
7.
7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
8.
8. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
9.
9. Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
10.
10. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
11.
11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
12.
12. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13.
13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14.
14. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again."
15.
15. Swat at flies that don't exist.
16.
16. Tell people that you can see their aura.
17.
17. Call out "Group Hug!", then enforce it.
18.
18. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
19.
19. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
20.
20. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off, ever.
21.
21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
22.
22. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
23.
23. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
24.
24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
25.
25. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
26.
26. Draw a little circle around yourself on the floor and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!"
27.
27. Put police tape in front of the door before entering.
28.
28. Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.
29.
29. Hold an auction.
30.
30. Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.
31.
31. Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.
32.
32. Throw a rave.
33.
33. Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."
34.
34. Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".
35.
35. Hum the first seven notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.
36.
36. When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"
37.
37. Lean over to another rider and whisper "Noogie patrol coming!"
38.
38. Have a heated debate with yourself.
39.
39. Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.
40.
40. Drum on every available surface.
41.
41. Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.
42.
42. Stroke your chin and ask other passengers to tell you about their mothers.
43.
43. Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.
44.
44. Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.
45.
45. Propose to the other passengers.
46.
46. Challenge people to duels.
47.
47. Sell girl scout cookies.
48.
48. Bring a large pile of ice. Build a small igloo on the floor.
49.
49. Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."
50.
50. Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.
51.
51. Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a light.
52.
52. Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.
53.
53. Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.
54.
54. Shout "Food fight!"
55.
55. Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"
56.
56. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
57.
57. Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.
58.
58. Do Riverdance.
59.
59. Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"
60.
60. Make sushi.
61.
61. Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."
62.
62. Shave.
63.
63. Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.
64.
64. Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.
65.
65. Practice kung fu.
66.
66. Make race car noises when people get on and off.
67.
67. Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"
68.
68. Fly a model airplane.
69.
69. Do yoga.
70.
70. Play the accordion.
71.
71. Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.
72.
72. Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.
73.
73. Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.
74.
74. Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."
75.
75. Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.
76.
76. Ask someone "guess what?" When they respond with "what?," say "guess what?" again. Repeat until the person responds angrily, then say "I was only asking a question." Then start talking loudly to someone else in the elevator about "how some people really need to learn how to control their temper." [thanks to haha_random]
77.
77. Ask someone if they have an extra pair of underwear with them. Tell them it's just because you have a disorder that causes uncontrollable bowel movements whenever you stop or start moving suddenly, and you forgot to pack your "elevator panties." [thanks to haha_random]
78.
78. Sit in the corner, rocking back and forth, muttering to yourself in a loop "And when it finishes going down it goes up and people get on but when they get on they always get off and the ones getting off are never the ones getting on and the doors open but they always close but when the doors close no one gets on and it goes down and when it finishes going down it goes up..." [inspired by haha_random]
79.
80.
81. I will admit, they're not all great...
82. Suggestions would be awesome though! As well as ideas on a)how to fix the ones that don't work, and b)which ones to get rid of altogether.
2.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3.
3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4.
4. Call a Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
5.
5. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?", and let the doors close.
6.
6. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
7.
7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
8.
8. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
9.
9. Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
10.
10. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
11.
11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
12.
12. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13.
13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14.
14. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again."
15.
15. Swat at flies that don't exist.
16.
16. Tell people that you can see their aura.
17.
17. Call out "Group Hug!", then enforce it.
18.
18. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
19.
19. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
20.
20. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off, ever.
21.
21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
22.
22. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
23.
23. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
24.
24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
25.
25. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
26.
26. Draw a little circle around yourself on the floor and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!"
27.
27. Put police tape in front of the door before entering.
28.
28. Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.
29.
29. Hold an auction.
30.
30. Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.
31.
31. Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.
32.
32. Throw a rave.
33.
33. Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."
34.
34. Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".
35.
35. Hum the first seven notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.
36.
36. When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"
37.
37. Lean over to another rider and whisper "Noogie patrol coming!"
38.
38. Have a heated debate with yourself.
39.
39. Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.
40.
40. Drum on every available surface.
41.
41. Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.
42.
42. Stroke your chin and ask other passengers to tell you about their mothers.
43.
43. Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.
44.
44. Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.
45.
45. Propose to the other passengers.
46.
46. Challenge people to duels.
47.
47. Sell girl scout cookies.
48.
48. Bring a large pile of ice. Build a small igloo on the floor.
49.
49. Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."
50.
50. Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.
51.
51. Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a light.
52.
52. Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.
53.
53. Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.
54.
54. Shout "Food fight!"
55.
55. Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"
56.
56. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
57.
57. Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.
58.
58. Do Riverdance.
59.
59. Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"
60.
60. Make sushi.
61.
61. Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."
62.
62. Shave.
63.
63. Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.
64.
64. Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.
65.
65. Practice kung fu.
66.
66. Make race car noises when people get on and off.
67.
67. Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"
68.
68. Fly a model airplane.
69.
69. Do yoga.
70.
70. Play the accordion.
71.
71. Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.
72.
72. Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.
73.
73. Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.
74.
74. Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."
75.
75. Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.
76.
76. Ask someone "guess what?" When they respond with "what?," say "guess what?" again. Repeat until the person responds angrily, then say "I was only asking a question." Then start talking loudly to someone else in the elevator about "how some people really need to learn how to control their temper." [thanks to haha_random]
77.
77. Ask someone if they have an extra pair of underwear with them. Tell them it's just because you have a disorder that causes uncontrollable bowel movements whenever you stop or start moving suddenly, and you forgot to pack your "elevator panties." [thanks to haha_random]
78.
78. Sit in the corner, rocking back and forth, muttering to yourself in a loop "And when it finishes going down it goes up and people get on but when they get on they always get off and the ones getting off are never the ones getting on and the doors open but they always close but when the doors close no one gets on and it goes down and when it finishes going down it goes up..." [inspired by haha_random]
79.
80.
81. I will admit, they're not all great...
82. Suggestions would be awesome though! As well as ideas on a)how to fix the ones that don't work, and b)which ones to get rid of altogether.
At the top will be the same place you hang from.
![[Image: sfmentors.gif]](http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/5681/sfmentors.gif)
![[Image: HFTOTW2DR.png]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v317/Mental_case19/HFTOTW2DR.png)
