02-22-2016, 12:27 AM
So...just general back story. I don't drive, I don't have a job. I'm 35 and something did need to change, but it's been a LOT to take in.
Everything started around Christmas. My cousin's oldest son, only just 21, died in a car accident. He hit black ice in the fog and...well, he didn't make it. Our entire family pulled together; however, my grandmother was 86 at least, and had been in the hospital for some time (in Alaska, we live in Oregon). And while we were all gathered down here, my grandmother passed away. We had a few weeks of quiet after that...before one of my two sisters lost her house for financial reasons. I was living with my older sister, who has a home, and so our other sister, her husband, and their four kids moved in as well. Long convoluted story short, on valentine's day my brother in law (home owner) had a huge fight with the older sister (his wife) about wanting everyone out. Obviously, the sister and her husband with their 4 kids can't go anywhere yet, but I'd made prior arrangements with my friend and her parents to stay there briefly for more convoluted reasons. I didn't pay rent there, so I had to go as soon as I could manage it--this was told to me the day after valentine's day. That Friday, my friend came and got me...and here we are.
Now, my friend and her parents are great, the best people I know. They're loving and supportive, and completely content for me to be here as long as I need it, so I am lucky. I know I'm lucky and I'm not trying to complain. I just feel like my older sister threw me under the bus as a concession in the fight, and I miss the pets I helped them raise, and I don't know, I just need somewhere to say something about this...to tell how I feel, because everyone around me would take my words the wrong way. Not that I could tell them without turning into a sobbing mess that can't talk anyway. I feel like my family abandoned me and that I'm probably the least important person alive. (I know it's not true, I am well loved) ...it's just hard to have the rug pulled from under me out of the blue, and time will make things better, but it's hard right now. Thanks for reading, I'm not even sure what kind of response I'd want. I just needed somewhere to get it all said.
Everything started around Christmas. My cousin's oldest son, only just 21, died in a car accident. He hit black ice in the fog and...well, he didn't make it. Our entire family pulled together; however, my grandmother was 86 at least, and had been in the hospital for some time (in Alaska, we live in Oregon). And while we were all gathered down here, my grandmother passed away. We had a few weeks of quiet after that...before one of my two sisters lost her house for financial reasons. I was living with my older sister, who has a home, and so our other sister, her husband, and their four kids moved in as well. Long convoluted story short, on valentine's day my brother in law (home owner) had a huge fight with the older sister (his wife) about wanting everyone out. Obviously, the sister and her husband with their 4 kids can't go anywhere yet, but I'd made prior arrangements with my friend and her parents to stay there briefly for more convoluted reasons. I didn't pay rent there, so I had to go as soon as I could manage it--this was told to me the day after valentine's day. That Friday, my friend came and got me...and here we are.
Now, my friend and her parents are great, the best people I know. They're loving and supportive, and completely content for me to be here as long as I need it, so I am lucky. I know I'm lucky and I'm not trying to complain. I just feel like my older sister threw me under the bus as a concession in the fight, and I miss the pets I helped them raise, and I don't know, I just need somewhere to say something about this...to tell how I feel, because everyone around me would take my words the wrong way. Not that I could tell them without turning into a sobbing mess that can't talk anyway. I feel like my family abandoned me and that I'm probably the least important person alive. (I know it's not true, I am well loved) ...it's just hard to have the rug pulled from under me out of the blue, and time will make things better, but it's hard right now. Thanks for reading, I'm not even sure what kind of response I'd want. I just needed somewhere to get it all said.