Filled with rage...

[Gavax]

Hi all, first time posting but it got the point where I just needed to voice myself to people who might understand, see if I can get a little direction too.

I'm 25 years old and things caused by the past are starting to creep up that are making me resentful, angry and full of rage.

Basically what happened from the age of 11 was that I didn't get on with my dad, it was like someone flicked a switch and he just turned into an intolerably unfair bastard... I could do no right and he could do no wrong. We argued all the time, fought (physically on a number of occasions I remember) constantly, to cut a long story short I hated him, he made my life hell till he split up with my mum when I was 22/23.

I tried to meet with him more as friends told me "it gets better when you're apart, there's no tension anymore" which was kind of true till like 2 month ago where I had what the doctor called an emotional upheaval when I got into an argument with him and it filled me with rage like I'd never experienced previous.

The advice I'm looking for I suppose is basically HE wants to meet up again and make out as though nothing has ever happened, and for some reason there's part of me that wants to and part of me that doesn't too. I've no idea what I want but he constantly pressures and guilts me I guess. I don't know what to do about it all

[Train Wreck]

The best advice i can give is for you to try your best to make a better relationship with your father. You only get one and thats it so make it count and make it last brother.

[Clark]

You only have one father. Don't waste him.

[iSymplix]

i think you should think about how it will be for you in the longrun, if you dont need another individual in your lufe regardless of who it is then...

[Gavax]

At the end of the day I know he's my dad, but how does that just give him a pass? I mean I get the whole sentimental side but "forgive and forget" has never really been something I've done, it's not like I'm out for revenge but am I just appeasing him because I'd feel guilty or what? :\

[Clark]

The best advice i can give is for you to try your best to make a better relationship with your father. You only get one and thats it so make it count and make it last brother.

I agree with this answer 100%, regardless good luck op, keep us updated.

[Train Wreck]

At the end of the day I know he's my dad, but how does that just give him a pass? I mean I get the whole sentimental side but "forgive and forget" has never really been something I've done, it's not like I'm out for revenge but am I just appeasing him because I'd feel guilty or what? :\

Its not so much that you feel guilty its almost a sense of you tried and if something happens to him people cant say you didn't try.