Need an Ear to Chew...

[DevilDog45]

So here's the general situation.

My step mom, who has been part of my life for most of my life is sick with cancer. By sick, I mean its a waiting game now and heavy medication til then. Our family dog, who is epileptic, isn't doing well either. It almost seems like a race between the two.

My former best friend, who I helped get a job where I work, is now trying to snipe my job out from under me. Any girl I try to get together with (I can't be the man whore, I like a long term meaningful relationship) proves to just be another slut who wants me to take her out and show her a good time, so she can go sleep with another guy.

My only saving grace is my paintball team, which I am losing interest in because of the aforementioned sh!t....

I don't really know what I am looking for here, but thanks for reading...

[DevilDog45]

So after a little more thought, I think I figured out what I am looking for here. I need some outside advice, from someone unbiased. I am just un sure how to deal with everything. I have been lucky enough to only have lost a few ppl close to me in 24 years, but this has just got my head in a fog. Right now my priority is more keeping my dad sane thru all of this but that leaves me without a rock to stand on. She has him, he has me but I am starting to get shook up and I am not sure where to turn.

[Dr.Cooper]

Hello DevilDog45, I read your thread and a post and thanks for sharing to our community. We will do our best to provide you with unbiased suggestions like you want.

Looks like you are going through a rough time. It occurs to everyone. It is how we deal with them.
First, you should keep yourself strong. You should be the one to give support to your family, not the one to get support at the moment. Thinking this way might help you stay strong.

Really, sorry to hear about your step mom. I hope she will be better than before.
Hope your dog gets well too.

About the best friend, I think he should know what you have done for him. But it doesn't mean you go and tell about it, be calm and time will show him that what you have done for him.

About relationships, don't try hard. You will find some one who deserves you. I know there should be one to listen when you are down or when you want to talk to but looking at the current situation, you should be more focused on family.

You should hang out with friends, and stop worrying much at the moment and clear your mind on what to do.
Don't lose your interest on the things you want to do, like paintball as you mentioned.

So, coming to the point, talk with your dad and meet your stem mum often and let them know you are grateful towards them.
Work as you worked before and no one can take what you deserve.

Time will heal and make up everything.
I hope this helped you somehow. If I can do anything else, then please let me know.
I am on skype sometimes, we can catch up there if you want to talk.

-Dr.Cooper

[DevilDog45]

Thanks Doc. With work/friend, that's just fumes really. The relationship trouble, that's an escape I am looking for and can't find.

The family mess is what's got me messed up. I understand what you mean about "back burner"ing my problems, but its hard to spend the better part of a year stuffing it all down. And the past few weeks have been a major downslope, and its becoming more "real" to me now. Til recently, I had almost shrugged it off as just like the flu. Take some time, take some meds, and you will be fine. But its not. Now I am starting to see that its just treading water til she's out of strength, there's no help coming. And now that dad and the nurses have basically told me that, its made my outlook on everything change. And, after typing alll that, I do feel oddly better...

Thanks again doc. If I need another vent, this thread will be my first stop.

[Dr.Cooper]

Thanks Doc. With work/friend, that's just fumes really. The relationship trouble, that's an escape I am looking for and can't find.

The family mess is what's got me messed up. I understand what you mean about "back burner"ing my problems, but its hard to spend the better part of a year stuffing it all down. And the past few weeks have been a major downslope, and its becoming more "real" to me now. Til recently, I had almost shrugged it off as just like the flu. Take some time, take some meds, and you will be fine. But its not. Now I am starting to see that its just treading water til she's out of strength, there's no help coming. And now that dad and the nurses have basically told me that, its made my outlook on everything change. And, after typing alll that, I do feel oddly better...

Thanks again doc. If I need another vent, this thread will be my first stop.

Its 6:21am here and I need to sleep but came back to see if you have posted.
It is not a big problem to reply you and helping is my pleasure brother.
We are ready to support you anytime.

Here are some things that you should keep in mind.

If science and technology cannot cure something, all we can do is pray and try our best to make the one feel better.
Like I said before, accompanying them would be one of the best contribution from your side no matter what.
Apart from that, don't let yourself change and don't let anything change your outlook on anything. I know it is really hard to do so than it is said but all depends on you.
As we have come to the main root of the problem, we should focus on it but it is really not a problem. We should take it as a phase of life which all people go through. It all depends how an individual acts and responds on this phase.
Have some faith, have some hope, time will change everything. I am repeating it again, time will change everything. Patience is the key.

[DevilDog45]

so she passed yestedray morning. i think now that the war is over, its gotten easier. me and dad are doing ok. lots of friends and family around. now i geuss its just time to recover and move on.

[Dr.Cooper]

Really sorry to hear that and sorry to hear about your loss bro. We should move on as you said.
May her soul rest in peace in heaven.

Being with family and friends help a lot.
Do good in future and keep in touch. We will do our best to support you.

[Dragon45]

Sorry to hear about your loss but am glad your family is making out alright so far.

Just think that she's in a better place now and as for your other problems, relationships are tough nowadays. It's good that you have certain standards and unfortunately you'll have to be patient until you meet the right one. Look at divorce rates and people around you with crappy relationships, that's what happens when you rush in IMO. That's how I look at it anyway.

As for your friend, that sucks when someone you trust tries to screw you over but at least you've spotted this now then later on with something worse.

[System Meltdown]

Sounds like you need to be an butthead to girls to better understand the signs of a good girl once you meet one.

Girls want what they can't have and nice guys are easily attainable so you have to be confident/joke around/and have a chip on your shoulder to score the one you want.