OMFG right when I start typing this she starts to talk to me YJHGFBH
Just to start off: Yes, this is a big post and if you don't want to read it please read the bold paragraph at the bottom
Okay let's start this off. There's this girl, I like her like boys do with girls, and I like her a very muchy lot. Like, a LOT. I think about her all the time, I dream about her and can't stop talking to her. I'd rather be with her 24/7 and cuddle her all the time.
I don't know where to start really. We got to know eachother a lot better since 9 months ago now, and she turned from being a stranger into my best female friend into my freakin crush. Just when I though she'd be the best freakin female friend I'd ever have! At first I pushed away those feelings because I wanted her to be just a friend, nothing more. Strange stuff happened (Not going to tell here, this post'd get too long). Anyways, I started to freakin love her (God damnit hence my shitty typos and English here and there, I'm fed up and feel weird and energetic and WDAWDFAS I don't know how to describe it all, typing this makes me even more.. Whatever the fudge I am right now)
Anyways to the point (Hence my cussing, I'd rather not do it but my fingers are typing right now and my brainsa re going all crazy) So me and her hung around for a while, I become for as far as I know her best male friend, we did a lot together outside of school and eventually went to another city with her, where she'd visit two old friends. They didn't want her to take a guy with her, yet she convinced them I was cool and stuff so we went there. (Sorry for any possible changes of events in my story, I'm talking to her right now and she's like two persons at the same time) Our conversations usually include a lot of flattering, because of her I hang out with female friends more easily, and I started to freakin love her.
Then everytime I talk to her, she reacts differently. Last time we talked she literelly ended the conversation with:
"I LOVE YOU!! (L)(L)(L) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"
And stuff and no, I am not like a kid and think X's mean she loves me, every girl does it and I mostly do it myself too if they feel comfortable with it. But usually we say bye just by saying "Bye bye (: xx", or sometimes she's just like "I have to go now, bye." Then she's off yet a bit later she turns online on another IM or FB and I am the one to start the convo.
I mean, literally 30 minutes ago she did that, and right now she comes online and is all supportive and nice to me, asking me what's going on and YES, the conversation is suffering under me actually typing this and getting more and more upset. SHE IS JUST TOO freakin CUTE YET I CANT STAND THIS!
Also, everyone. Like, literally EVERY freakin person we both know ask us if we are in a relationship and me being jealous of another guy she talks to is often a subject of someone we are having a convo with. It makes me feel good people thinkw e are a couple and I'd rather tell her I love her right away and no, I am not affraid of her refusing me. What I am affraid for is her turning her back at me because our friendship is like, one of the main reasons right now I wouldn't just give the fudge up. I am so fed up with like, everything. I feel tired all time yet can be so happy when I talk to her or some of my other friends, they are the world to me and I could never lose them. At home I am always too tired or just being a dick and feel like I make my dad and mom feel bad by just being ignorant or not doing what they want me to do. They are the best parents you could imagine really. My MOM REALLY, she is incredible! She will never stop loving me, could never miss me and no I could never miss her. Yet I keep dissappointing them and myself and GOD, I need something or someone to freakin shout at and release my anger and energy and Idon'tfuckingknow what else I have to release at!
Really, this whole post my not make any sense to you and please, don't reply if you don't feel like. I will make a more detailed post about her sometime later when I am a lot more calmed because I know this isn't interesting or helpful in no way to either of us, but I just had to write this down and not feel like nobody is ever gonna read it anyway. I don't feel like these forums are a garbage can for my feelings and would never treat them like such.
But if any of you feel the same like me, or think you have any helpful tips or just feel like having a conversation with me (I can have seriously deep convo's without saying 'fudge' every two seconds, I just can't help it and I am terribly sorry for anything that might be offensive to any of you guys)
TLDR; really just read the paragraphs above this one, it's probably the only one with some actual normal stuff.
Loving greetings, Pontoe
(Sorry in advance again for anything that might seem like spam, too much cussing or just anything that might annoy you. Please just let it pass by and do not waste your time on my thread, it's probably more useful somewhere else)
Right now I kind of told her I was busy with my science assignment so I couldn't really talk. Feel bad about it but I just can't deal with talking to her and actually performing good enough for school right now.
Just to start off: Yes, this is a big post and if you don't want to read it please read the bold paragraph at the bottom
Okay let's start this off. There's this girl, I like her like boys do with girls, and I like her a very muchy lot. Like, a LOT. I think about her all the time, I dream about her and can't stop talking to her. I'd rather be with her 24/7 and cuddle her all the time.
I don't know where to start really. We got to know eachother a lot better since 9 months ago now, and she turned from being a stranger into my best female friend into my freakin crush. Just when I though she'd be the best freakin female friend I'd ever have! At first I pushed away those feelings because I wanted her to be just a friend, nothing more. Strange stuff happened (Not going to tell here, this post'd get too long). Anyways, I started to freakin love her (God damnit hence my shitty typos and English here and there, I'm fed up and feel weird and energetic and WDAWDFAS I don't know how to describe it all, typing this makes me even more.. Whatever the fudge I am right now)
Anyways to the point (Hence my cussing, I'd rather not do it but my fingers are typing right now and my brainsa re going all crazy) So me and her hung around for a while, I become for as far as I know her best male friend, we did a lot together outside of school and eventually went to another city with her, where she'd visit two old friends. They didn't want her to take a guy with her, yet she convinced them I was cool and stuff so we went there. (Sorry for any possible changes of events in my story, I'm talking to her right now and she's like two persons at the same time) Our conversations usually include a lot of flattering, because of her I hang out with female friends more easily, and I started to freakin love her.
Then everytime I talk to her, she reacts differently. Last time we talked she literelly ended the conversation with:
"I LOVE YOU!! (L)(L)(L) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"
And stuff and no, I am not like a kid and think X's mean she loves me, every girl does it and I mostly do it myself too if they feel comfortable with it. But usually we say bye just by saying "Bye bye (: xx", or sometimes she's just like "I have to go now, bye." Then she's off yet a bit later she turns online on another IM or FB and I am the one to start the convo.
I mean, literally 30 minutes ago she did that, and right now she comes online and is all supportive and nice to me, asking me what's going on and YES, the conversation is suffering under me actually typing this and getting more and more upset. SHE IS JUST TOO freakin CUTE YET I CANT STAND THIS!
Also, everyone. Like, literally EVERY freakin person we both know ask us if we are in a relationship and me being jealous of another guy she talks to is often a subject of someone we are having a convo with. It makes me feel good people thinkw e are a couple and I'd rather tell her I love her right away and no, I am not affraid of her refusing me. What I am affraid for is her turning her back at me because our friendship is like, one of the main reasons right now I wouldn't just give the fudge up. I am so fed up with like, everything. I feel tired all time yet can be so happy when I talk to her or some of my other friends, they are the world to me and I could never lose them. At home I am always too tired or just being a dick and feel like I make my dad and mom feel bad by just being ignorant or not doing what they want me to do. They are the best parents you could imagine really. My MOM REALLY, she is incredible! She will never stop loving me, could never miss me and no I could never miss her. Yet I keep dissappointing them and myself and GOD, I need something or someone to freakin shout at and release my anger and energy and Idon'tfuckingknow what else I have to release at!
Really, this whole post my not make any sense to you and please, don't reply if you don't feel like. I will make a more detailed post about her sometime later when I am a lot more calmed because I know this isn't interesting or helpful in no way to either of us, but I just had to write this down and not feel like nobody is ever gonna read it anyway. I don't feel like these forums are a garbage can for my feelings and would never treat them like such.
But if any of you feel the same like me, or think you have any helpful tips or just feel like having a conversation with me (I can have seriously deep convo's without saying 'fudge' every two seconds, I just can't help it and I am terribly sorry for anything that might be offensive to any of you guys)
TLDR; really just read the paragraphs above this one, it's probably the only one with some actual normal stuff.
Loving greetings, Pontoe
(Sorry in advance again for anything that might seem like spam, too much cussing or just anything that might annoy you. Please just let it pass by and do not waste your time on my thread, it's probably more useful somewhere else)
Right now I kind of told her I was busy with my science assignment so I couldn't really talk. Feel bad about it but I just can't deal with talking to her and actually performing good enough for school right now.