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Trapped in the "friend zone" again. On the outside looking in.
#1
While I'm sure everyone here has had problems with girls and things, I'm posting on Support Forums today because I think I've once again trapped myself in the friend zone with a girl I like. You can probably say "Big deal, everyone deals with that." and I completely agree, unfortunately my problem doesn't end there.

So, I am 15 years old and headed into my Sophomore year of high school. I've known this girl for about 2 and a half months now and we've talked and texted a lot and hung out a few times. She was really flirty and playful at first. For like 3 weeks we would flirt with each other and everything but it never went further than that. I guess she just began to think I never saw much in her or something because I never took that next step. Eventually the flirty, playful conversation slowly evaporated and we began getting to know each other better. She would pour her heart out to me until 2 in the morning and we would have really deep talks. I guess she started seeing me as more of a friend she could really trust with anything.

She eventually started telling me about a guy she met a few months ago at a school dance. (we go to different schools) She told me he was a year older than us and that he was a jerk and that he manipulated girls. She would tell me how she couldn't stand it when he would try to talk to her and stuff. She kept telling me he was a horrible person and everything. One night she texted me and she seemed sort of upset (her texts were short, and she used a lot of "...") When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had made out with this guy and she felt dirty and awful. I talked her through it and everything and she said she wanted to get him out of her life but that he was apparently "suicidal" and she didn't want to do anything that upset him. Conversations about this recurred several times over the following weeks.

One day she told me that, yet again, she had made out with him and that she didn't know why she kept doing it or how she was going to tell him to stop. She also told me he started to "feel her up" and that she wasn't ok with it. That set off my overprotective nature, but I let it go because I didn't want to seem like...strange? i guess thats the right word. So nothing became of that.

Another time, about 2 weeks ago, she texted me, telling me that once again she had made out with this guy, and that once again he began touching her. He also asked her to blow him...which really pissed me off. (no, she didn't, if u are wondering) So i once again tried containing myself, but as our talk continued, she kept telling me about how his hands were always on her, and that he was always trying to make her touch him when they hung out. This was the last straw. I lost it and I texted her back, ranting about how it's sexual harrassment, and that if she didn't do something about it he was going to rape her. She took it like some kind of joke and proceeded to shrug it off like nothing happened.

She obviously has something for this other guy, but because she refuses to admit it to me, idk what to make of it. She described her relationship with the other guy as them being friends with benefits (...minus the sex...if that makes sense?) and her reasoning began to just not make any sense. She would tell me she hated him and never wanted to see him again, but she still wanted to hang out with him, or she was disgusted with herself about the situation, but she claims he doesn't know any better.

After i went off about what happened, we didn't talk to each other for another week (by far the longest we had gone without talking)
One night, and i sent her a text, just asking whats up. She replied saying she was on the phone with a friend, she'd text me back. She never texted back. The next day she texted me sayin she was sorry for not texting back, she fell asleep. So i tried talking with her then, but she said her phone was charging, she'd text me later. She never texted me, so i was through with it and just stopped trying.

Another week passed until yesterday, at about 10:30 at night, she texted me asking what i was doing and so we started talking. So we caught up and everything and then she told me her facebook husband dumped her because he was in a real relationship now. I thought it was kinda weird that she'd tell me that outta no where...but i went with it. She then proceeded to tell me that she was now in a complicated relationship with this other guy, and that she wasnt sure how she felt about it. So we talked for a while about it and she told me she couldn't see him as more than a friend...so I just said she should give him a shot and if it doesnt work then oh well (didn't want to discourage it because it would sound weird) and then out of no where she said she was busy and she'd text me later...which she didn't.

I noticed a long time ago she's been using me, but I dont know what to do now. I can practically guarantee her "relationship" won't work, but i don't know if i want anything to do with her after these past few weeks. I just need a word of advice in this situation. Is this girl worth the trouble?
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#2
You say that this girl uses you...how so? Just because you talk her through her situations? I guess that could be considered using if all you do is talk about her. I just think this girl is all over the place and a shy one. It does seem like you are in the friend zone for sure and is the reason it doesn't matter if she texts you back or not because you are just a friend. If you really want to try to be in a relationship with her just tell her that you think you kind of are starting to have feelings for her...I wouldn't say you always have or that would just be awkward I guess. I would say that she has had rough times and you could show her a good time and what a nice guy is all about for a change. If you find out that she is just a bunch of drama in a relationship then you can always dump her.
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#3
Unfortunately I currently have to go soon, when I get back I'm definetly going to read this and see if I can help!
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#4
I read the whole thing. Sounds to me like you /had/ a chance and you still have hope that you will be able to date her. She is now talking to you about other guys. You /will not/ get a chance with her. There might be some hope though. You need to make her jealous. If she texts you, be short with her. Example:
Her: Hey! (:
You: hi
Her: Whats up? (:
You: chillin with this girl
Her: Who?
You: You don't know her. I will text you later.

If she replies, don't even think about replying. Then if you want to rub it in and make her want you more, call her and ask her advice on something. Maybe like, "How do I know if a girl likes the way I kiss?"

Lies can help, man. Good luck. Now maybe you can check my thread out? It is called "First Girlfriend".
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#5
How does she use you? I somewhat understand how you feel :/
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#6
Hey guys, sorry I'm just responding now, I've been sort of busy now.
A few of you have asked how I think she is using me, and a majority of the time i would text her first, but when she texted me first, we always ended up talking about her problems with this guy. I just feel like the only time she ever wants to talk with me now is when she needs to talk about her problems with him, but she never wants to talk just to talk.
I know this probably sounds pretty selfish and wrong on my part, but idk what to make of it.
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#7
That’s a pretty crazy story. You are far to young to need to worry about this kind of stuff. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but here it is. Move on, maybe let them know how you feel. Seriously, you wont learn to move on until you do it time after time.

The only problem life throws at us it that the more we do something, the easier is becomes next time.
[Image: ikRHOXJqr4pLP.png]
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