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[POEM] Reach out to me [POEM]
#1
[Image: iS6QY.png]

You may write me down in history,
with your bitter, twisted lies.

I face the pain, the agony,
while you reap the joys.

My tears fall endlessly,
but you wont realize.

You're vision is darkened,
by the material things in life.

You said you knew me,
behold, I'm as dead as a living tree.

My sleep burns with endless thoughts,
while you slip away into the dark world.

Its hard for me to smile when I'm hurting,
if only you cared enough to reach out,

Its easier for you to walk away,
then it is for you to see the depth of my despair.



This is the first poem I ever completed. I have many more saved as drafts that I never had the heart to complete. Your critique and comments will help me in completing my lost memories.
Thank you.
I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once, the seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice,
well it really chilled her mood.

[Image: 506243.png]
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#2
Finally! The long lost writings of Telhast emerge! Big Grin
Good job mate. Keep it up please.
P.S. Your first poem is way better than what I first wrote Smile
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#3
I've been writing poetry for years and this is much better than most of what I could make. You've got talent for this man. Mind if I use some lines in a Facebook status? Smile
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#4
(05-12-2011, 01:54 PM)Amp™ Wrote: I've been writing poetry for years and this is much better than most of what I could make. You've got talent for this man. Mind if I use some lines in a Facebook status? Smile

I'm an open book. Use anything you want. PM me if you want anything more.
(05-12-2011, 01:40 PM)BlackChaos Wrote: Finally! The long lost writings of Telhast emerge! Big Grin
Good job mate. Keep it up please.
P.S. Your first poem is way better than what I first wrote Smile

I want to know if its better than anything you currently wrote. :-D
I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once, the seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice,
well it really chilled her mood.

[Image: 506243.png]
Reply
#5
Wow, great job.

I posted my .. well, don't really know if you'd class them as poetry but I'd say they're all dark thoughts, and this has good dark side (which has the most emotion/meaning imo)

"behold, I'm as dead as a living tree." < Love that, wouldn't have thought of that myself.
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#6
(05-12-2011, 02:40 PM)Hate Wrote: Wow, great job.

I posted my .. well, don't really know if you'd class them as poetry but I'd say they're all dark thoughts, and this has good dark side (which has the most emotion/meaning imo)

"behold, I'm as dead as a living tree." < Love that, wouldn't have thought of that myself.

There is a hidden meaning between the words of that line. There are many ways to interpret it. You decide which way you want to. :-)
I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once, the seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice,
well it really chilled her mood.

[Image: 506243.png]
Reply
#7
That's really good dude...

When ever you get finished with the others, I'm lookin' forward to reading them.
if ( ( youAreHappy) && (youKnowIt) )

clapYourHands();
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#8
(05-12-2011, 01:57 PM)Telhast Wrote:
(05-12-2011, 01:40 PM)BlackChaos Wrote: Finally! The long lost writings of Telhast emerge! Big Grin
Good job mate. Keep it up please.
P.S. Your first poem is way better than what I first wrote Smile

I want to know if its better than anything you currently wrote. :-D

Maybe a few of mine here and there, but you have a lot of room for growth Smile
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#9
Wow for the first poem its awesome buddy, just keep practice your skills and depth of sea of thoughts will increase automatically with practice and soon you'll be able to go inside that sea and find precious pearls of words to make your poems more beautiful.
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#10
(05-12-2011, 07:44 PM)Invincible Wrote: Wow for the first poem its awesome buddy, just keep practice your skills and depth of sea of thoughts will increase automatically with practice and soon you'll be able to go inside that sea and find precious pearls of words to make your poems more beautiful.

Thanks a lot mate. I hope my depth of thoughts increases. I might just find the pearls and give them to you. :-D
I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once, the seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice,
well it really chilled her mood.

[Image: 506243.png]
Reply


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