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Hurting
#1
When I was younger I was never popular or liked by many people, I then went to secondary School and thats where things changed .

The first three years of secondary school was fine I got to the 4th Year, and things started to deteriorate, well at the start of 4th Year, my mother was diagnosed with Cancer and was told she had 9 months approx to live. I was destroyed when I found out, now in school this is where the bullying began, I was being bullied because my mother had cancer -.- this did not only upset me it turned my life into something I can't leave again, the first three weeks I put up with it and ignored it, it gradually died down a bit.

So about 3 months after my mother was diagnosed I was walking home from school, to see my Parents car not there I thought this is a bit odd. walked into my home with only my dog there.. and again I thought this was odd, so I started to call people and see if they knew anything about why my parents wasn't in the home, no one answered and if they did they never knew where they was, both my parents phones was switched off I got worried. I called the local Hospital and asked if she was there, they said " Yes. " I asked if they could tell me what was wrong they replied " No sorry we cannot give you any information " I Instantly threw the phone threw at the Tv in anger, so I sit in my house waiting... and waiting.... my father gets home, I ask where my mother is? he stares at me... with no reply I instantly knew what he was going to say soon as he stared at me, I went into my room and cried from 7pm till 6am, my knuckles where covered in blood, I felt lost, lonely, destroyed.

After her funeral I was changed I went back to school to a lot of support from the friends I had, but I still got bullied.. some fat kid walked up to me and laughed and said something I couldn't hear him very well, I instantly tripped him over and kicked him in the face, I received a two week suspension for bullying....
I went back to school and met this girl who went through the same thing as I did, we started talking and getting to know each other, she eventually moved away, once again I felt lonely and lost.
I started smoking weed, I do not regret this although I live in denial of being Mentally addicted to it.

This is where things start to get even worse for me.

At home my Father succumb to Drinking a lot, witch at first I didn't mind, I had a free house I could relax a lot more and sleep a lot more. For the first month or two it was fun, I could chill in my lounge watching tv and smoke a mix with my friend, or relax listen to music loud and not have to worry, then came the abuse, he started to get Aggressive I say because of the drink he says no, so after about 4 months of Aggressive behaviour towards me I told him to get the fudge away from me, he hit me and I walked out.

Currently now I am living back home, I still freakin hate my life living there and what I put up with because I am to gutless to end it all.

-Assist.
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#2
Well, check out your positives first, before you start looking at your life downwards.

1. You had a lot of support from your friends - which means they want to be your friend.

2. You didn't take crap from a fat guy - you stood up for yourself and protected what you carried in your heart.

3. You smoke weed (arguable) - If it takes your stress away, why not. Go ahead buddy.

Now check at the negatives, and see the possible positives in in.

1. I won't go through this one as I know it hurts you, and you know it is one of the negatives.

2. Your dad gets drunk and aggressive - It's only a temporary thing when he is drunk, when he's sober, he is normal, and acts like himself. So just make it through the times he is drunk, and talk to him about it when he's sober. It's worked.

3. You get bullied - You take control of it, and you tell them F U C K YOU, and you stand up for yourself, giving you more experience.

So bro, you don't have to take your life as negative. Doing positive things; thinking positive things will get your mind to a positive level in which this won't happen. Just relax about everything and don't harp on the same negative things in your head - because that will destroy you completely.
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#3
the thread name is hurting and your name is (ass)ist lol, anyway your dad should go to a therapist idk how your going to do that tough
Man's destructive hand spares nothing that lives; he kills to
feed himself, he kills to clothe himself, he kills to adorn
himself, he kills to attack, he kills to defend himself, he kills
to instruct himself, he kills to amuse himself, he kills for
the sake of killing. ~Josef de Maistre
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#4
for some reason therapist is instantly registered in my mind as the rapist looooooooool
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#5
(05-11-2011, 04:39 PM)Aware Wrote: for some reason therapist is instantly registered in my mind as the rapist looooooooool

dont follow me... Stay on topic
Man's destructive hand spares nothing that lives; he kills to
feed himself, he kills to clothe himself, he kills to adorn
himself, he kills to attack, he kills to defend himself, he kills
to instruct himself, he kills to amuse himself, he kills for
the sake of killing. ~Josef de Maistre
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#6
hey bro i feel your pain. i was bullied as well. as for your mom dying, that sucks. but sometimes, for some people, childhood sucks. i know it did for me. but don't worry being an adult kicks ass. but as for your dad being drunk and aggressive, try telling him how you feel. if that won't work call CPS. i know that may seem harsh but it will show your dad that he's been freakin up. hopefully he would get his life together then. but whatever you do, don't kill yourself. there are always a solution.
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