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Anyone on meds?
#31
(10-20-2009, 06:37 AM)S0rath 0f the Black Sun Wrote: That's some pretty mean meds you took. How'd you deal with the side effects? How did it affect your daily living and relations with other people?

Is your bipolar condition still a standing diagnosis for you?

I'm a bit curious as to what that lung condition may be.

Blackhat

Let me first say, that I was prescribed the Valium and Methadone initially, but Bupranorphine, much later down the line, but that the other things I mentioned,
apart from Dihydrocodeine, which I did get prescribed, but not that often, were taken occasionally, on a recreational type of basis.
There were also some other things that I didn't mention, that I used to take as well, on a pretty regular basis.

I can't really say I had any side effects as such, apart from when I began taking Valium, which was the thing that I took the longest of them all,
apart from Methadone, both for a few years, when I used to fall asleep in the oddest of positions, like face flat down on the PC keyboard for example,
with a cigarette one time that melted the F key I think it was, or face flat down in a pile of Zip disks or whatever, that left an indentation or two, in my cheek....;)

I got on with others just fine, but I did have a pretty serious 'episode' at one time, over the course of a few months maybe, in 2005,
when my brother went off, to work on a movie in LA, for a few years, when I more or less went bananas, living in his house alone. - Pause.

Insert.

[in fact, he still lives there now, is working on other movies, has a baby with his g/f, and they are getting married in a few weeks time.
- I would love to go to his wedding, but the thought of, not so much the journey, but all of the preparation beforehand, is a little too intimidating for me right now].

Resume.

This resulted, with mental health and social workers, accompanied by the police, coming along one fine day, to 'rescue' me from whatever madness I was experiencing,
and they took me to a hospital for a few months, until I went to 'Bedlam', where I eventually was sent, for this brutally rapid 2 week detox,
which was not really the nicest of experiences, mainly because the other patients there at the time were pretty unpleasant types.

I wonder if you are familar with the word Bedlam?

The common dictionary description for Bedlam, is usually:

'A state of extreme confusion and disorder'.

Well, that word, is derived from the name of the hospital, where I underwent this detox.

It's history is somewhat interesting and in brief,
it's not actually called Bedlam, but The Bethlem Royal Hospital.

'Although the hospital is now at the forefront of humane psychiatric treatment, but for much of its history, it was notorious for cruelty and inhumane treatment.' - Wikipedia.

Also from Wikipedia - but slightly edited.

It was a part of London since 1247, but at first, a religious priory from where it took its name, it became a hospital in 1330, and admitted some mentally ill patients in 1357.

Early 16th century maps show Bedlam, as a courtyard with a few stone buildings, a church and a garden.
Conditions were consistently dreadful, and the care amounted to little more than restraint.
There were 31 patients and the noise was "so hideous, so great; that they are more able to drive a man that hath his wits rather out of them."
Violent or dangerous patients were manacled and chained to the floor or wall. Some were allowed to leave, and licensed to beg.
In 1598 an inspection showed neglect and there were 20 patients there, one of whom had been there over 25 years.

Sorry about that, but I thought that you may find it interesting.

My condition, as such, I'm not sure. I did receive a letter from the doctor a few days ago, an automated type of thing really,
saying that I have not undergone any sort of mental health review for some time now.

I suppoose I might make an appointment to see them, but I feel quite alright now.

One thing though, if I had my way, is that I would like to maybe get back onto some of those meds, particularly Valium, but I wouldn't say no,
to Dihydrocodeine either, as I did used to like that. The problem is, that being Benzodiazepine/ior semi-synthetic opioid analgesic based,
the doctors are not that keen in giving it out at all, as they are very addictive, but I told them I didn't mind that, but nah,
there's no go on that it seems. I was toying with the idea of online pharmacies and all, but I don't know.

The lung condition, dates back many years, when I had one collapse at one time, but later, I was really ill one time around 1996, with Pneumonia,
which sort of recurred sometime around 2000, both times, in freezing cold winter. I also had Emphysema as well, and now have an chronic lung infection called COPD, that's all.

Sorry about this, I hope I'm not sounding like a dead man walking or anything like that, as I'm not that bad really, but ought to try to cease the smoking cigarettes, but find it too hard at the moment.

Anyhow, I think that I should stop there, and my apologies for going on so much about it, but when you get caught in a sort of writing loop, it's hard to break out of it.
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#32
No need to be apologetic, I read through all that and I particularly found that hospital (Bedlam) interesting, although I've heard of it at some point, I've never really read something along the lines of that what you have shared. Since I have been researching a little on the evolution of the hospital and health care system for quite some time now. Sad to say, the history of it seems to be as dark and grotesque (on a personal note) as of any other medieval (and ironically, if I should say so myself, ran by the church at one point) hospice in that time period. I find the Bedlam name most appropriate for that place with that etymology.

I was a bit surprised that you were actually institutionalized for a bit for the therapy. The mainly unpleasant thing in psychological institutions is the housing of patients. I personally believe that every patient should be isolated with each other and should only interact with relatives, health care practitioners and the attending doctors and not with other patients.

I don't think a little follow up appointment would be bad, I do feel strongly that you get that appointment and I encourage you to do so, but of course the choice is yours and also for your convenience of time and effort.

Benzodiazipine and other opiods are very addictive and mostly used rarely, and sometimes as a last result in the treatment modality. I wouldn't want to trust online pharmacies unless you were buying from the manufacturer themselves, but then again, you would most likely be asked for a prescription or written order from your attending physician.

Ah, COPD. Actually, COPD is a "family" of conditions which may include bronchitis and emphysema. Do you sleep mostly upright now? Do you have dyspnea and/or difficulty of breathing? Do you have relatives of caregivers watching you now that you have this condition? Winter is nearing again though. Best be staying indoors.

Thank you very much for sharing that with us.

Blackhat
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#33
I started on zoloft, then lexapro. I'm finally on something that works, seroquel.
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#34
I'm on Chlorprozamine

And Vexarin XL

Apparently i've got psychotic depression. There is quite a few people here with depression too, how amazing! Smile
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#35
When iam really unhappy and depresed i use Akineton(biperiden) mixed with small dose of alcoholic drinks and i very fast get "feeling lucky".. Its not harmless but is very effective for me.
"The quieter you became, the more you are able to hear"
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#36
(10-22-2009, 06:43 AM)S0rath 0f the Black Sun Wrote: No need to be apologetic, I read through all that and I particularly found that hospital (Bedlam) interesting, although I've heard of it at some point, I've never really read something along the lines of that what you have shared. Since I have been researching a little on the evolution of the hospital and health care system for quite some time now. Sad to say, the history of it seems to be as dark and grotesque (on a personal note) as of any other medieval (and ironically, if I should say so myself, ran by the church at one point) hospice in that time period. I find the Bedlam name most appropriate for that place with that etymology.

OK thanks, glad you found that Bedlam bit interesting.
I am wondering, if your interests in the health care system are restricted to any one country in particular?
Because I'm sure that the levels of care in some countries are different than others, where there may not even be any, depending on which country it is.

Quote:I was a bit surprised that you were actually institutionalized for a bit for the therapy. The mainly unpleasant thing in psychological institutions is the housing of patients. I personally believe that every patient should be isolated with each other and should only interact with relatives, health care practitioners and the attending doctors and not with other patients.

I don't know if institutionalized is the right word or not in this case though?
Probably though, after you read what is coming up next...;)

True I was taken to hospital and it was a hospital for people with mental health problems. The journey there was quite strange.

You know, they just took me as I was, they didn't give me time to collect any clothes or anything like that,
it was just me in a dressing gown and that was that for a little while, until some of my brother's TV pals came along and brought me some stuff.
Odd really, certain nameless TV celebs and book authors etc, visiting me at that place.

The actual journey to the hospital was really quite bizarre!

I went first in an ambulance, to some hospital somewhere, I don't know where it was, but sort of local to my area.

I think that I spent 1-2 days there, then, I was given a small pile of towels for some reason,
and taken in a taxi, to another hospital, where I was assessed for something or other.

This seemed to go on, going from one hospital, to the next, in taxi's until I was down to the last towel,
which ended up being the last hospital that I spent 2-3 months at.

I have no idea what that was all about and I was really nervous that when the towels were all gone,
that I would be left in the street somewhere, fending for myself, without any proper clothes and all.

Thinking about it, I must have seemed nuts, because I knocked on the door of the woman next door,
and warned her that because my brother's fridge was flooding on a daily basis, usually happening overnight,
that what would probably happen, would be that the house would more or less blow up,
because of the water interracting with the electrics and in turn, this would cause her house to explode,
and then, one by one, all the neighbouring houses along the street would topple in a similar fashion!

Madness eh? Man, I can't believe that I thought that...;)

I don't know if she called my brother in the US because of that and he
called somebody up about this though, I'll have to ask him at some point.

Yes, there were plenty of 'crazy' seeming people in that hospital before Bethlem.
I had no option, other than to have to mix with them, although I did have my own room, after a few days there.
Also,when my brother came over, quite shortly after I was admitted, to visit me,
I was really convinced that I would 'contaminate' him and that he would not be allowed to leave.

He told me that he took a photo of me becasue he thought that I wasn't going to make it, as my weight dropped down to 77 pounds,
from my normal 150 pounds or so. I'm not exactly a large dude, but I more or less wasted away from not eating very well.

But I got back to my regular weight within those 2-3 months there.

Quote:I don't think a little follow up appointment would be bad, I do feel strongly that you get that appointment and I encourage you to do so, but of course the choice is yours and also for your convenience of time and effort.
[/qoute]

Your probably right there, but as I have been considered 'cured' if you like, and have been signed off from that mental helath team for about 18 months now, I feel fine, just get a little down now and then.

[quote]
Benzodiazipine and other opiods are very addictive and mostly used rarely, and sometimes as a last result in the treatment modality. I wouldn't want to trust online pharmacies unless you were buying from the manufacturer themselves, but then again, you would most likely be asked for a prescription or written order from your attending physician.

Yeah, unfortunately, that's the reason that they are none too keen on giving out 'mother's little helper' these days.
I even get a warning at some e-mail accounts that I have, that using the account for contacting online pharmacies is not allowed,
but I don't know how they could find out about it though. But you're probably right, it may not be a good idea, although with some, you need no prescription.
I have seen people though, talking about using online pharmacies on TV, and they seem to have no problems with getting stuff.
but Diazepam are not exactly cheap though, so I probably may not get around to that.
Actually, during one stage of my taking Diazepam, I mixed them with some vodka, managing to save up, about 700 or so of them.
But I got really paranoid one day, after watching some TV report or other,
and boiled up a large pan of water and stewed them all down, then emptied them down the toilet. Wish I hadn't done that now..;)

Quote:Ah, COPD. Actually, COPD is a "family" of conditions which may include bronchitis and emphysema. Do you sleep mostly upright now? Do you have dyspnea and/or difficulty of breathing? Do you have relatives of caregivers watching you now that you have this condition? Winter is nearing again though. Best be staying indoors.

Yeah, I'm used to sleeping, kind of half-sitting up, or certainly not laying flat out for ages now,
plus I had real problems with sleeping at all for a long time, years it seems.

You know, you may not believe this, but in the 3 weeks that I was at Bethlem, I don't believe that I slept more than 4-6 hours in total.

It probably sounds improbable, but since I came out in 2005, I haven't slept for more that 4 hours or so,
at any one time, probably less, more like 2 hours or so.

Up until recently that is, nowadays, after getting back online, after a long hiatus of some years,
I have started to sleep for some hours again, as many as 5-7 even, all at the same time,
maybe it's something to do with the brainbox being stimulated or suchlike, I'm not sure.

I do have troubles with breathing, but only if I walk too fast,
but one scary episode in Holland, in 2000 or so, I was so short of breath
that I really believed that I was dying and was told that my eyes were rolling up and showing all white etc.

Trouble was, that the dude I was staying with, a truly nasty piece of work, was not too keen to call an ambulance,
because he said that they would have to get the police to attend as well, which I don't believe, seeing as he was such a liar,
and seeing as he was a crack dealer, who had spent 6 years in jail for murder,
[self-defence, so he says, he shot someone who was going at him with a knife],
he didn't call anybody. He was really crazy and would burst into my room in the early hours for no apparent reason, scaring the bejeezus out of me.

I don't have any carers as such, as I'm not all that old, mid thirties
and winter here, is nowhere near as extreme as it gets in Holland though.
Although it does get quite chilly though, so I just have to layer up, with thick jumpers and all.
Can't avoid going out really, daily shopping and all, as I don't do that once a week really.

Quote:Thank you very much for sharing that with us.
Blackhat

That's no problem, thanks for your concern and I hope that it wasn't too boring for everybody.
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#37
@S0rath
I took lithium at one point because they thought I was crazy, the side effects were horrific. All I could do was stare at something and every now-and-then drool. My mind was fried. I had to go to the doctor frequently to get my blood checked, and I think I was on like 800mg a day. I was a sitting vegetable.
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#38
hey omni,

nvm the whole story ;)

im almost my whole life on meds tbh.
mostly for migraines and aggressive attacks.

i take proxalt if i remember correct witch makes me throw up when i take it.
but atm it works too keep my migraines under control.
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#39
I try to refrain from any medicine, even prescription. I hear it helps develop your immune system.
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