New story I'm writing

[Somnium Shadow]

I think it’s a good start and it seems like an interesting story, but it needs work. The wording could be better to make the story flow; you’ve missed some commas (and put them in places they don’t need to be) and have grammatical errors that need to be fixed up. Try putting it through some sort of Word document to see if that helps to point out where things should and should not be placed; however, make sure you go over it yourself as well because Word doesn’t catch everything. You should also try rewording some things so it’s not so repetitive sounding, you keep using the phrase, “I guess I should explain.” Switch it up a bit; say something like, “I’ll elaborate” and then go into what he’s explaining or something to that extent. It really does sound like it could potentially be a very interesting story; the kinks just need to be worked out. Best of luck!

[Wasted]

There were many grammatical errors, and a few spelling errors. I used a text to speech and it came across very childish, the lack of periods and commas made it hard to read and almost made it a run on.

Your sentence: They trained us from the age of 1, until the age of 14 when they decided to put us into war, we all did not have the same powers or skills we were each different, 5 guys and 5 girls we are the 10 meant to save the world. We started to realize that they didn’t plan on using us to save the world but that they had other intentions in mind at the age of 10 when one of us started using our powers to read the military soldiers mind.

My edit: We were trained from the age of one, until the age of fourteen when we were sent to war. There were 5 males and 5 females, we each had different skills and powers. With these powers we were destined to save the world. At the age of 10 I realized they didn't want us to save the world, they were more interested in using our powers for there own selfish needs.

[Tuskarr]

Well very nice story man, but you should add something like this:
When we grow up at the age of 25 we realized that we have to save the world of Aliens. The military have discovered that there was a new Planet with aliens. Than you went in the military and apologized and they let you in so you can save the world. You didn't go, but 200 soliders went to fight in that Planet. All of you guys used weapons and ships. But the Aliens had some kind of catapults and destroyed some of your ships. After that you went to their planet and saw the aliens. They were big and strong. They could destroy you with 1 hit because they had strong hands. They almost died. Than the military sent 500 more people. But with better weapons like Grenades and stuff. But they still lost. So the military sent the 10 you guys and 3000 more people to the planet. They also sent 50 scientists. After that 500 people died and saw that the queen of the aliens eat their brains for information. After that they discovered where the queen lived, they attacked with all their people and weapons. But only 2 of the chosen ones and 100 soliders didn't go in. They managed to killed almost all of the aliens except the queen. So when she was ready to eat their brains the 2 chosen ones and the 100 soliders attacked and managed to capture the queen. And than with 2 ships they got back to their planet. After that the scientists were testing the alien and after that they killed her.
(I think that is a good idea)

[Aridity]

It looks nice,but the grammar could be better.

[Delicious]

I found this an average piece of writing. Not the worse, but not the best. Some mistakes in grammar but I like the story.

[Fresh Prince]

I like the idea of this. I kinda like stories like this, personally. Just don't make a bad ending haha. You're making progress.

[Justin]

Writing comes from your heart, not from your brain.