My Rap? What you think? Please Reply

[ImFocuzz]

This is me and Keith-Seeing is Believing all my friends like it but everyone on hackforums dissed me hard. I want feedback even if its bad. Tell me what you think about the music not my voice it has dropped a lot since a month. Keith moved to Washington State but I think he is going to get a computer to start making music again. I plan on being a Computer Geek he plans on being a rapper.

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(Nudge) No comments? come on I know someone wants to.

[GrammarPhreak]

Listened to it, my opinion, it was pretty good. Much room for improvement, but that's the way it is. Listen to different types of music relating to your song. Keep practicing and getting better. For the song, not bad at all.

[ovelayer]

Well I've herd worse but I wouldn't try out for american idol yet lol.
Music is bearable but vocal training might need to be concidered

[Peter L]

Sounds alright, your flow sounds off sometimes. Try taking more steady breaths and once your voice gets deeper it'll sound x2 better.

Only complaint, is be REAL. You are not on top of the world and my girl is not with you. There are many good rappers like yourself, but no one wants to hear that crap.

[ImFocuzz]

Yea ist mainstream because I didnt think any real rap lovers are on support forums trust me this rap killed to make so mainstrean. List to my rap music go to my account and find Combat and The Fight ect. Also The girl thing check twice ;) lol jk but I do get a lot of girls just been on computers a lot so there fading away .

[SleepyTroll]

On of you is quite young. These following apply to both of you : Your mixing needs work. Your flow needs work. Your breathing needs work. I like the hook

[ImFocuzz]

Thanks! You know what I love about SF they will tell you the truth but in a posstive matter ! I LOVE IT THANKS I will work on flow and breating and mixing.

[Eve]

Only complaint, is be REAL. You are not on top of the world and my girl is not with you.

Made me giggle.

[ImFocuzz]

lol Eve I am with you lol. But maybe his girl is with me? And maybe I am on top of the world with Nasa?

[AceInfinity]

sounds pretty good, you need to work on your rhythm a bit more, and maybe the enthusiasm for the higher pitched singer lol. Otherwise there's a few good rhymes in here.

Good job