Help me live my life

[HakkuR*]

Just don't eat them man.

[Solidify]

They work against grass, cats and dogs and a range of things.

I think food allergies are different though. If you can find out for me I'd really appreciate it.

peanut allergy, if that is what you are certain it is, may be slightly differently treated

Yes, I am certain that is what it is. I've had the allergy since birth and it's not new to me. The problem is not ridding myself of the allergy, although that would be nice, but rather to learn to cope with it.

your phobia however can be treated and i would strongly recommend you seeing a doctor

Like I said in one of the above posts; I went to see the head of the psychology department of my school because my teacher referred me to her since she has worked with hundreds of phobic patients. She's a psychological practitioner so of course her help involved doing what I can do to improve things on my part. She showed me some muscle relaxation and breathing exercises to manage my anxiety. she also gave me WAV files (audio) to practice breathing in and out with my diaphragm to reduce anxiety.

She also told me that managing anxiety was the first step and that we need to isolate the issue but eliminating any other stressors in my life (family troubles, friends, etc.). I don't think I have though. I'm generally a really happy and jittery kid most of the time until I came face to face with the idea of eating out with friends, I suddenly become quiet and they know why. It's invading my life and I can't enjoy anything or have breakfast or go watch a movie with friends without thinking about whether or not the person beside me is eating something with peanuts or peanut butter on it.

After isolating the stressors, she explained that I would need to undergo systematic desensitization but the problem is that most therapies are rather expensive and she made that clear. She said that if I wouldn't be able to pay for that kind of treatment, that there was another clinic about 45 minutes away from my house that is meant to accommodate mediocre/lower income families. I have yet to give them a call for some reason. I just haven't made time for it yet I guess. Stupid me.

let me know what is positive in your life

Almost everything. I have great friends and loving family. The only other problem, or should I say, big problem, which you've already acquainted yourself with in my other thread is the issue with my grandmother. It's a MAJOR stressor. Being left home alone with her is scary. Sometimes she moves things around (vases, clothing, personal belongings, etc.) and she doesn't know any better and I'm afraid I'm getting to the point where I won't be able to withhold myself from delivering a vicious blow to my terminally ill grandmother. It's eats me up inside every time I even get so mad and consider it. I've told my mom several times that I can't control myself any longer when she does irritating things like that and I'm afraid of doing something I will regret. She says we have no other option but to have her live with us for the time being.

What symptoms do you face when you feel anxious?

Well, when I'm anxious is usually when I think there is or is going to be food or we're going to be eating somewhere that I'm going to have no what out of excusing myself. For example, once, we were eating out, all of my friends and I, and I ordered some pizza and my friend's girlfriend had orders a salad with nuts on it. She was sitting right in front of me (face-to-face) and the entire night, all I could have thought about was whether or not she was eating with her mouth closed. I was terrified of her eating or speaking with her mouth full and having something go into my dish or worse, my face. That's just what I do. I make bearable situations seem worse than they are and I can't stand it.

Have you researched allergy shots/treatments, or even done an allergy test?

I went to perform an allergy test about 3-4 years ago and I'm still allergic to peanuts, as well as walnuts and hazelnuts. Nothing left yet. I've heard of instances where allergies dissipate after many years. Not for me though.

Just don't eat them man.

By far the best piece of advice I have yet to receive. You deserve a pat on the back.

FYI, that's like telling someone that has a fear of snakes, 'Dude, just don't be afraid, that's all.'

[iceybunneh]

Hey there.

First off, I can relate to anxiety. I get regular panic attacks and I have to fight off this fear that something bad will happen to me if I go out. If left untreated, both of our conditions can lead to agoraphobia.

Do you have friends or family that can help you out? Like, if you're in a public place and you start freaking out, can they help you calm down? Maybe get them to remind you that just smelling the peanuts won't cause a reaction and that you're okay. A lot of times when my panic attacks hit, having my husband nearby to reassure me that I'm okay helps a lot. Just so you don't get the feeling of being alone and out of control of the situation. Also, if you're going to a party or someone's house, can you call them ahead of time to ask about what's being served? It may not sound like the politest thing to do, but you can just explain your allergy. I'm sure they'd be happy to work with you instead of risking having you hospitalized.

You can also check on things like restaurants or public malls to see what they have. Public malls usually have an online directory and you can see what restaurants they have ahead of time, check their menus and reassure yourself that there's nothing that will cause an allergic reaction there. Or, avoid the ones that do have peanuts. There's always a chance that someone may bring outside food in and that's something you can't predict or control, but that is life and that is something we have to deal with. Just make sure your Epipen is with you if you need it and keep reassuring yourself that smell =/= allergic reaction. Even if you don't believe it, just keep telling yourself that so it's like a constant reminder in your head.

Also it was already mentioned but desensitization to the phobia itself is the best treatment for psychological phobias. It will take a lot of time and patience and it may stress you out further, but it will definitely help.

Best of luck to you <3

[monique12345]

Right, Solidify you have alot of sound advice now from a group of us and it seems as though we are going now around in circles. You almost have got to the point that you are afraid of being afraid which induces the anxiety symptoms you have described. it is good to get osme advice from the teacher/head. Call that number, if you are not willing to help yourself then there is little anyone else can do for you. That is the reality of it and I think suger coating it will not help you. I do empathise with you, really i do. We all have some form and degree of anxiety in our lives. it cannot be easy to live with your grandmother (I know how this is) and the guilt of feeling the way you do. Breathing excersises is all great for you and it feels almost like you want a quick fix. There are treatments for food allergies and oh boy they are expensive.

This does not have to consume your life. i think Iceybunneh advise is sound, I had allergies to nuts (to later find out it was a cross reaction to grass and animals). I still have to be careful as stress can bring on a nasty reaction and one has no idea of when it will hit, how bad it can get and where it will happen. It is scary and at times embarassing. However, you can control what you can control and start a treatment that will help you now. it gets more expensive the older you get, there may be some advantages to do it younger. Be honest with your allergies and severity of it with restaurants and so forth so that they will not risk you getting sick. Peanut allergies are taken seriously almost everywhere in the world now. So to be honest about it means you will be more protected when out and about with friends. If you have great friends, then they will help you with your phobia by being more sensitive. Though, my advice is to speak out exactly what you are feeling at the time. it is a mild form of treatment you do yourself where those around you can respond by reassuring you that it is not as bad as you see it. Perception is a funny thing and majoring in Psychology perception alters our thought processes. So use your speech to undo your thought processes which in turn will reverse your behavioural and emotional responses. It is simple, speak out what you are feeling at that moment - good friends will support and listen to you. Good luck with the clinic too and do cardio workouts as that channels your phobia at another level. Take care

[Solidify]

Do you have friends or family that can help you out? Like, if you're in a public place and you start freaking out, can they help you calm down?

My best friend but after a while, I can see that it's getting annoying for him to do it all the time and I feel ashamed.

Also, if you're going to a party or someone's house, can you call them ahead of time to ask about what's being served?

I usually will and the host will make the arrangements. But most of the time, there's food on the table that has nuts it in and I'll be told to just not eat it while all I can think about is whether or not someone took some of it into their place over the course of the night and accidentally dropped crumbs onto the rest of the buffet, stupid things like that. I over-assume the worst all the time.

It may not sound like the politest thing to do, but you can just explain your allergy. I'm sure they'd be happy to work with you instead of risking having you hospitalized.

Exactly! That's why I don't do it often. Can you imagine someone is inviting you over for a party or supper to add to the fact that they're cooking for a house-full of guests, I'd be making special requests? I get where you're coming from and an allergy is nothing to be ashamed of notifying someone of.

There's always a chance that someone may bring outside food in and that's something you can't predict or control, but that is life and that is something we have to deal with.

And that's what I'm attempting to do by seeking help, one step at a time.