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I got in a relationship recently with one of my friend, whom I liked since a long time.
I hadn't met her since a year or so. I proposed a week back and she said yes.
We went on our first date together for a movie.
And i just now realized the worst thing about her - she is very boring. she HARDLY talks. she will reply only when you ask something. otherwise, she hardly says anything.
So, I think I should break up with her soon since this is never gonna work.
But the problem is - her birthday is on 10th March (day after tomorrow). So how do i break up ?? Also, WHEN do i break up ??
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Is that really the only reason?
Personally, I LOVE quiet girls.
But if you really feel that way, wait until after her birthday, maybe a few days. Don't ruin her special day like that. But in the time between then and now, search for a real reason.
Is it your fault or hers? She can't help the way she is, and honestly, what you're doing is a bit shallow and selfish.
As for what to say...if you decide you still don't want to be with her...
Sit her down with the words, "I think we should talk."
Be gentle with her. Something like, "this relationship isn't working for me."
It's probably not your decision to remain friends after the breakup though.
Personally, I couldn't live with myself if broke up with someone because they bored me.
You think you would have realized that before you asked her out.
Maybe she's just very shy around you, like her feelings makes her too nervous to talk.
Please, don't just make this decision without digging in a little deeper.
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Don't breakup with her on her birthday, don't breakup when it's a happy day or a special day. Breakup when it's a random day, be original and don't be "It's not you, it's me" Which it clearly isn't in your opinion. Maybe find a day to spend a good few hours with her alone just with yourself and her walking somewhere, might be peaceful.
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Lol. You putting the blame on me now ?
What would you do if you were on a date and the girl hardly even spoke a work (i mean it literally). There is no chemistry at all.
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Don't breakk up, give her a chance.
She may be good in bed,
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Well, I personally don't agree with your reason. That maybe just me but that isn't what I'm going to bring up. If you actually love someone, like truly do, you will do anything to make things work or be with them. Calling her boring maybe true but that isn't a problem that has no solution.
You said it yourself, this was a FIRST date, why give up so early, that makes little sense to me. I think you should do the following things before even considering going into a relationship;
- Am I ready for commitment?
- Do you really love her?
- Are you willing to work things out?
- Can you adapt and overcome any challenge?
- Why are you doing this?
- Do you trust her?
If you think about those few things and can answer with pure honesty, you are ready for a strong relationship in my opinion. It takes two to tango and if it isn't working or seems not to be, sit down with her and talk to her but still it was a first date and you shouldn't just give up. Give the girl a chance and who knows, your relationship could flourish into something strong and ever lasting.
"Don't treat life as a losing battle, but as an ongoing challenge."
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I would personally leave it for a few days, last thing you want to do is ruin the poor girls birthday,
When it comes to breaking up, try and let her down gently, tell her that you feel you were matched as friends.
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(03-09-2011, 10:47 AM)don26 Wrote: Lol. You putting the blame on me now ?
What would you do if you were on a date and the girl hardly even spoke a work (i mean it literally). There is no chemistry at all.
There shouldn't always be a chemistry between 2 persons.
You can not judge your relationship on one date honestly.
Just go out with her more, maybe for some reason, its hard to let people close to herself. Just get to know her better and that chemistry will come, it just takes time.
Relationships don't work like the way they do in movies, its something worth working for.
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(03-09-2011, 04:04 PM)NekoChan Wrote: There shouldn't always be a chemistry between 2 persons.
Now thats not true.
I think i might give this a chance like you guys said. Afterall, it was only the first date mile:
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03-11-2011, 12:04 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-11-2011, 12:05 PM by AceInfinity.)
(03-11-2011, 11:47 AM)don26 Wrote: Now thats not true.
I think i might give this a chance like you guys said. Afterall, it was only the first date mile:
Actually it is true, different people have different visions of their own ideal relationships. You can't change that, and with that, comes a chemistry between two individuals. The only thing is that no relationship is truly 100% perfect without any flaws. So things can work even with less chemistry between the two people, it just takes more work, dedication, and patience from the both of you.
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