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Losing a close friend
#11
I learned to get over stuff, because I'm the one who listen and never talk, I've always been the shoulder and not the one needing it (so did people think)....
I could talk to anyone and made few mistakes, that all helped me to learn how to keep my outter shell away from my inner, and how to split the inner life into categories... Smile

I might appear to many as Cold Blooded person, but the fact is...
When I lose someone, I meditate on that, make it clear for me that it has happend and cannot be changed... The pain remains, but my mood and activities don't get affected...

If this thread is a help for you, just make it your practice to post something in here everytime you feel sad or angry... Get it out as you did now... We will listen (or I will atleast)...
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#12
(03-08-2011, 01:03 AM)Polymath Wrote: I learned to get over stuff, because I'm the one who listen and never talk, I've always been the shoulder and not the one needing it (so did people think)....
I could talk to anyone and made few mistakes, that all helped me to learn how to keep my outter shell away from my inner, and how to split the inner life into categories... Smile

I might appear to many as Cold Blooded person, but the fact is...
When I lose someone, I meditate on that, make it clear for me that it has happend and cannot be changed... The pain remains, but my mood and activities don't get affected...

If this thread is a help for you, just make it your practice to post something in here everytime you feel sad or angry... Get it out as you did now... We will listen (or I will atleast)...

Yeah, you are the type of person I envy, I am still trying to work on being able to do that. Building up myself so it's harder to bring me down sort of thing. This thread did help me and I found a new respect for these forums. It actually has people who care and don't troll the hell out of people for posting personal problems.

Hopefully eventually I will be a stronger person and can actually be able to be something like you eventually and be able to do that with future incidents. Would be a nice change in pace, that is for sure.
"Don't treat life as a losing battle, but as an ongoing challenge."
[Image: df0oS.png]
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#13
Thank you....
Building your character to sustain inflicted pain and in some cases using it for your good, is certainly a good thing to do, it can however lead to complete emotion loss (personal expirience).
You should never ignore the Pain, just lower the priority of those emotions and put other over it.
Remember that you are shaping your reality, the pain you feel and the anger may produce bad energy (if you actually belive in that sort of thing, because I do).

Keeping your thoughts on the light side will help you to get over it....

Just when I think about it, I don't get over things, I live with them....
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#14
Personally when I have lost friends in the past, I dedicate a day to them, the first year (right after the death), I spend that day thinking about the times we spent together, the stuff we went through and all the good bad and ugly memories. After that I no longer feel sad, I'm not prone to overly emotional thoughts or even emotions to the extent of the average person, it's a good and bad thing I guess.

Then on that day I remembered our times together the first year, the next year I will celebrate their life in a fashion that suits their personality and activities, if I partied with them then I will have a party with some of our other mutual friends, stuff like that.
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#15
(03-08-2011, 08:49 AM)Swat Runs Train Wrote: Personally when I have lost friends in the past, I dedicate a day to them, the first year (right after the death), I spend that day thinking about the times we spent together, the stuff we went through and all the good bad and ugly memories. After that I no longer feel sad, I'm not prone to overly emotional thoughts or even emotions to the extent of the average person, it's a good and bad thing I guess.

Then on that day I remembered our times together the first year, the next year I will celebrate their life in a fashion that suits their personality and activities, if I partied with them then I will have a party with some of our other mutual friends, stuff like that.

That is a good idea and something I might take on actually. Thank you for that. It seems like a good way to get through events like these and I'm open to anything new that I haven't done to do so.
"Don't treat life as a losing battle, but as an ongoing challenge."
[Image: df0oS.png]
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#16
It's hard to lose a friend, just don't let that angry get to your head and rage on your love ones. Like Swat said take a day with your friends or whom every was close with her and just remember...
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#17
I didn't read any other comments, I'm sorry. I don't know if this will help you.

I accept things as they come and go. When people I know leave or die I don't feel sadness or regret. We had our time together and that time has passed. As will our time one day. This is a smaller scale, but if I make a bad grade, I realize I fudged up and move on. I don't know if I deal with death. I might just be ignoring it. :/
Those who want to live, let them fight, and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle do not deserve to live.
-Adolf Hitler


A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on.
-JFK



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#18
(03-08-2011, 01:30 AM)Polymath Wrote: Thank you....
Building your character to sustain inflicted pain and in some cases using it for your good, is certainly a good thing to do, it can however lead to complete emotion loss (personal expirience).
You should never ignore the Pain, just lower the priority of those emotions and put other over it.
Remember that you are shaping your reality, the pain you feel and the anger may produce bad energy (if you actually belive in that sort of thing, because I do).

Keeping your thoughts on the light side will help you to get over it....

Just when I think about it, I don't get over things, I live with them....

Are you seriously advising self-inflicting pain as a solution?

Sure, shooting yourself will lead to complete emotion loss. But that's what we're not trying to achieve here.
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#19
(03-08-2011, 10:13 PM)Deltron Wrote: Are you seriously advising self-inflicting pain as a solution?

Sure, shooting yourself will lead to complete emotion loss. But that's what we're not trying to achieve here.
I didn't even notice this reply. Hysteria... don't resort to anything like this please. It's not a good place to be. Trust me. :/
Those who want to live, let them fight, and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle do not deserve to live.
-Adolf Hitler


A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on.
-JFK



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#20
(03-08-2011, 10:16 PM)Codad Law Wrote: I didn't even notice this reply. Hysteria... don't resort to anything like this please. It's not a good place to be. Trust me. :/

I just now realized he got banned for his advice.

Reason: "Shoot yourself? That's not appropriate here."

Although I agree with the statement, I wouldn't bring out the ban hammer. I mean, he's one of the most active members in the coding section, let alone on Support Forums.
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