Leave my girlfriend?

[Guest]

Right, so I've been with my girlfriend for over 5 months now. We were on and off for about 5 months before that as she cheated on me numerous times. This was apparently down to her coming out of a 2 year relationship and her head being all over the place.

Anyway, about 5 months ago, we got together for the final time. I moved into her parents house (we're both 17) and things were going good. I attended sixth form and she was at college. In November, I left school due to not being able to keep up with the work as I had picked 4 reasonably hard subjects. I started searching for work soon after.

Up until a few days ago, I had no responses for work whatsoever, and now I have the opportunity of either of 2 jobs. Meanwhile, my girlfriend had been attending college, up until 3 weeks ago. She's had the last 3 weeks off college and has been diagnosed with severe depression, resulting in her officially leaving today. I'm not 100% sure why she has left college, he claims it's because she doesn't like going out the house, but she will willingly go out for any other reason. She may have possibly done this as I'm at home all day, but whilst she's here I can't get anything done as if I even go on my iPod she gets annoyed with me for not spending time with her.

Also, her nan has just been diagnosed with inoperable cancer, which has led to my girlfriend getting upset all the time because she's worried.

Our relationship is nothing like it used to be, at the start of it whenever she was in my company, she never left me on my own and was always by my side which was really cute, but now she never wants to spend time with me. During the daytime all she will do is watch TV, and at night she complains that she doesn't want to watch TV and wants to do something with her days. When I suggest things to do, she finds any excuse she can to not do what I suggested. We never spend time alone, it's always with her parents there. I think the only thing we do together is go to sleep, and by that time the day is over so we can't do anything.

Our sexlife has also deteriorated, she just doesn't seem interested anymore and I've lost interested from lack of passion from her.

There's also a lot of things going on in my mind right now, for example I would like to get my own paintball gun and join a paintball team, yet I feel she is holding me back on my whole life and all my ambitions. I didn't really have a proper childhood as from the age of about 7 through to 14, we were building my parents house so I was busy all the time. When I was 15, I was at the hospital every day visiting my nan who had cancer. She died the day after my 16th birthday, and then my parents split up, so that messed my life up a lot as well. I've only just started properly talking to my dad again after he left my mum. I rarely see him and would like to rebuild my relationship with him yet I'm jealous of my 13 year old sister who sees him every Wednesday.

Anyway, is there any possible way that someone could suggest resulting in me being happy? Should I leave my girlfriend? Move back home? Please, someone help me find happiness.

Sorry for the lifestory, I tried to explain as much as possible so everyone would understand. Credit to anyone who reads it all.

~B

[Snookerbro]

Firstly, I think you should discuss what you are interested or passionate in doing career-wise? What would you like to do with your life and how do you think YOU can achieve it in the future?

Secondly, do you have problems with both your mother & father, or just your father?

I've been in this situation, but not to this extent. I gave away career opportunities for a girl, and now that we broke up, I realised I would've been better without her and I regret missing out on those jobs.

Cheers

[Guest]

I love working with computers, I've always have done. I would like to do an ICT Technician apprenticeship and after a few years, open my own PC repairing shop.

I don't have problems with my mother. My girlfriend and I did used to go and sleep round 2 nights a week but we haven't done for the past 2 weeks because of hoe she is. We went last night and I only got to spend about 10 minutes with my family because se wanted to go back. I would have stayed later but being 17 and unemployed, I can't drive and had no money to pay for a lift. My mum doesn't have a lot of money since my dad left either so I wouldnt want to ask her for a lift back.

Thanks for your reply,
~B

[Snookerbro]

I think you should smash out some resumes out to some computer shops and see if you get a hit.

You are so young mate. Sorry to say this but, love comes and goes. Sad to say but it does.

If you personally would be better off without her, mentally, it is probably a sign that you should end things, if things don't end soon, you could go down a path of many days and nights being sad and thinking what you should do with your life.

If you end things off on a good note, before things get too crazy, you may have a chance down the road when both of you get your lives on track!

Look, mate, up to you, with what decisions you want to make in the end, but always make the right ones, thinking of the most important person in your life, yourself.

Cheers

[Impurity]

If she's not putting forth any effort I would talk to her, and if she doesn't meet you halfway, break it off. You don't need conflicting relationships stopping you from your job search.

[Dragon45]

How are her parents dealing with the situation although from the sounds of it, they are preoccupied with their own problems as well which in turn is reflecting upon her but maybe you need to talk to both her parents and her to resolve the issue better as it seems it's a mutual problem which has bestowed upon you now too.

As for college, in the current situation you're in it'd be hard to go back so perhaps it might be better to take a break, find a good apprenticeship of some sort to make sure you actually want to do that and then return which is what it seems you're striving to do. However, for now you must address the relationship issue as if you don't solve that, it's going to keep causing more conflict. As I said, talking to her family as a whole might be more effective and if they don't wish to cooperate, then perhaps it's time to move on as unfortunately some people refuse to seek help and there's not much you can do for them.

[Jack-]

If she's not putting forth any effort I would talk to her, and if she doesn't meet you halfway, break it off. You don't need conflicting relationships stopping you from your job search.

Well said.

If your relationship with her doesn't improve soon, I would break it off. It would definitely help you concentrate on the more important things like rebuilding the relationship with your dad, and finding a stable job. As far as the job goes, you need to get out there and fill out some applications. Your not going to get anywhere if you don't make an effort. Plus if you land a job at a computer shop, you can find out if opening your own is what you really want to do.

[Snookerbro]

If she's not putting forth any effort I would talk to her, and if she doesn't meet you halfway, break it off. You don't need conflicting relationships stopping you from your job search.

Very well put... Relationships are give and take... It should be on par with both people enjoying the relationship.

Cheers

[Knight]

If the relationship is fading, see what happens. If it dies off, it just sort of happens man; shake it off and move on.

[Omarito]

You shouldn't leave her now, Discuss these problems with her and you two should sort it out.