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Selfish? I couldn't give a toss. There is no escaping this pain, and the wounds I weild will never heal. I just want to die, and sometimes I wish I could just disappear. I think to my self while crying at night 'would anyone even notice if I vanished?'. I love Izzy so much but I know it won't last. I am a liar, a victim of physical abuse as a child, a confirmed psychopath and a thug. I deserve nothing but to be left to die, but nobody else can see this. I'll say it again, I love her so much. I am in love and I never realized that it hurts this much. Love is nothing to look forward to and I am sure I found it. I would give my eyes to her. I'd let her go, as long as it made her happy. I can not live without her, but knowing that she is not being weighed down by a crap like me will bring great comfort to a frenzied mind, and I will be sure that I can escape from this tesseract of pain. My wasted heart will love her for years after i finally do extinguish my pathetic excuse of existance. But oh well, that's what I get for making the unforgiveable sin of being brought into this screwed up world.
Will.
![[Image: jVYFt.gif]](http://i.imgur.com/jVYFt.gif)
No one is more enslaved than those that falsely think they are free. | Love hurts - alot.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0slhWiBVr4[/youtube]
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(12-26-2010, 05:22 PM)N U M B Wrote: Selfish? I couldn't give a toss. There is no escaping this pain, and the wounds I weild will never heal. I just want to die, and sometimes I wish I could just disappear. I think to my self while crying at night 'would anyone even notice if I vanished?'. I love Izzy so much but I know it won't last. I am a liar, a victim of physical abuse as a child, a confirmed psychopath and a thug. I deserve nothing but to be left to die, but nobody else can see this. I'll say it again, I love her so much. I am in love and I never realized that it hurts this much. Love is nothing to look forward to and I am sure I found it. I would give my eyes to her. I'd let her go, as long as it made her happy. I can not live without her, but knowing that she is not being weighed down by a crap like me will bring great comfort to a frenzied mind, and I will be sure that I can escape from this tesseract of pain. My wasted heart will love her for years after i finally do extinguish my pathetic excuse of existance. But oh well, that's what I get for making the unforgiveable sin of being brought into this screwed up world.
Will.
If you have no faith in yourself why should we have faith in you?
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(12-26-2010, 05:22 PM)N U M B Wrote: Selfish? I couldn't give a toss. There is no escaping this pain, and the wounds I weild will never heal. I just want to die, and sometimes I wish I could just disappear. I think to my self while crying at night 'would anyone even notice if I vanished?'. I love Izzy so much but I know it won't last. I am a liar, a victim of physical abuse as a child, a confirmed psychopath and a thug. I deserve nothing but to be left to die, but nobody else can see this. I'll say it again, I love her so much. I am in love and I never realized that it hurts this much. Love is nothing to look forward to and I am sure I found it. I would give my eyes to her. I'd let her go, as long as it made her happy. I can not live without her, but knowing that she is not being weighed down by a crap like me will bring great comfort to a frenzied mind, and I will be sure that I can escape from this tesseract of pain. My wasted heart will love her for years after i finally do extinguish my pathetic excuse of existance. But oh well, that's what I get for making the unforgiveable sin of being brought into this screwed up world.
Will.
Think of this: A butterfly dieing could change the world, and so could a human. People will remember you if you were to die. And it wouldn't be a positive type. They'd be sad you'd make the decision to throw it all away when, if you hold out, things can go positive as it progresses. For example: In the book a child called it, he was abused most of his life, and he held out and never let his mom win by not showing pain often or crying in front of her. He did win because people took notice. And they got him away. That's a negative, going to a positive. So if you wait things out, they come out better.
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(12-26-2010, 05:25 PM)Tyler8746 Wrote: If you have no faith in yourself why should we have faith in you?
wHere did the idea that I want you to have faith in me come from? You know what, just forget it.
No one is more enslaved than those that falsely think they are free. | Love hurts - alot.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0slhWiBVr4[/youtube]
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(12-26-2010, 05:22 PM)N U M B Wrote: Selfish? I couldn't give a toss. There is no escaping this pain, and the wounds I weild will never heal. I just want to die, and sometimes I wish I could just disappear. I think to my self while crying at night 'would anyone even notice if I vanished?'. I love Izzy so much but I know it won't last. I am a liar, a victim of physical abuse as a child, a confirmed psychopath and a thug. I deserve nothing but to be left to die, but nobody else can see this. I'll say it again, I love her so much. I am in love and I never realized that it hurts this much. Love is nothing to look forward to and I am sure I found it. I would give my eyes to her. I'd let her go, as long as it made her happy. I can not live without her, but knowing that she is not being weighed down by a crap like me will bring great comfort to a frenzied mind, and I will be sure that I can escape from this tesseract of pain. My wasted heart will love her for years after i finally do extinguish my pathetic excuse of existance. But oh well, that's what I get for making the unforgiveable sin of being brought into this screwed up world.
Will.
She's still in the relationship with you right? Has she shown any signs or told you that you are weighing her down? As I see it you taking your life would weigh her down more than anything right now especially since you two love each other. What if in taking your life you take hers? What if you're her life? What if she decides to take her life because you're not there for her to live with? You'd be hurting way more people than yourself by committing suicide. I think that's down right selfish.
If you love her so, she must be something worth living for. At least there's something.
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Goto a club and make some friends 
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If you killed yourself, your girlfriend will lose one of the most precious things in her life, your family, your friends, everybody is going to miss you so much. Don't do it, you'll put stress and tears on the people that loved you.
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Say to your parents im going to stay somewhere for a while, they have no right to keep you there.
Go to a mates house, stay there until you figured out what to do.
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Hello N U M B,
Please change your mind from these suicidal thoughts, this is not the way to go.
Rest assured I would know, Please try to seek attention and solve this problem.
Good luck mate.
- RRA
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12-29-2010, 09:18 PM
(This post was last modified: 12-31-2010, 03:31 PM by Death Trap™.)
N U M B I am sure everyone here has been in some sort of predicament as yours. I know you thought this would be best for your GF but without her opinion on the matter is just not right. Have you ever thought of all the pain you will bring to her if you suicided? how she failed to know this secret you kept? How she would feel if she failed to help you? Would that makes her feel useless? How she would feel not seeing or hearing your voice anymore? Did you ever know you might be the only person who cares about her? Did you know you might be the only person who is there for her when she needed it and understands her? You ever thought she can't live without you as well? Your thoughts and action is one sided and exhibit a sign of selfishness. If you truly love her, let her decides herself. If she stays with you, it is because she wanted to be with you. I am sure everyone here has told a lie in their life to get something or even to impress a girl. In being a victim of physical abuse should not put you down, it should make you stronger and learn not to abuse your child when you have one. I have friends who have been sexually assaulted/abused or physically/mentally abused as a child. You know they don't let it get to them. There are solutions to all your symptoms. You need to acknowledge the fact and get some help. Your better than some others. Ever heard on the news a teen girl who lived all her life with a rare and incurable deadly disease that her bf stayed with her till the end. She thought why does it happens to her that her life deteriorates for 9 months. She lived as long as her body can hold and enjoy the best months of her life. She has no choice in her situation. No cure. You have a choice compares to her situation. You can get help.
Article: http://www.aolnews.com/2010/12/18/with-l...ly-diagno/
Suicide is not the way to go. It will makes you weak. Be strong, push forward and live on for GF sake who needs you. Be a man.
![[Image: death.png]](http://g.imagehost.org/0177/death.png)
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