12-08-2010, 09:20 AM
As Most of you know I'm in Medical School and working as a CMA. Most of you know that I will be getting Engaged soon. blah blah blah. Lately for whatever reason for the past 3 months I have been nothing but depressed I don't give a crap about anyone or anything. I have soo much anger and rage built up. I quit going to the Gym I started taking Rx drugs to cope and it only made things worse. Hell I quit playing video games and getting on the computer. All I do is get off work go Home and sit my fat ass down and do nothing but watch T.V. I sometimes don't eat like I should, I have been seeing a Dr. for all of these things but it has not helped not 1 bit. Lately I have had thoughts about killing myself. Right now I'm just under tremendous stress. I'm losing my friends b/c of my bad attitudes and crap talking to everyone. I just don't know what to do anymore I just feel empty and dark inside. Even to the fact where I have become ENRAGED IN ANGER and just I almost feel like I wanna kill someone. Don't think I could actually do that without a very very good reason but. IDK I've gained weight I smoke yes you know what I smoke don't say it don't wanna talk about it. I just don't know what to do anymore. I got my ink done and I love the feeling of that pain. Who knows maybe I should kill myself and maybe just maybe the people I have hurt along the way will be better off.
First to Fight Last to Leave Hoorah!!