11-16-2010, 08:40 PM
Hello everyone,
I don't come for you to counsel me, I'm pretty much here to vent.
So I have my group of friends, not alot, but there all good.
There are 2 problems that are putting me down.
1st is School, I absolutely HATE School.
Most of my friend group is there, and a little outside.
I'm 14, I'm 5"9, and I'm 184 pounds.
I'm taller than most kids, but I see myself as obese.
Just the sight of looking at myself makes me upset.
And I have a low self-asteem, I get called fat by girls all the time.
See now if it would be guys, I would drop their ass fast.
Verbally girls hurt me more, I try to ignore, but the sadness catches up with me.
At home, all my parents think of me is some lazy kid on the computer all the time.
I have friends, I have a girlfriend who I care about alot.
My Mother is a big problem to me, there isn't one day where she doesn't verbally abuse me and swear at me.
She thinks I eat all the time, and it really hurts.
My father is nice, he doesn't judge me.
I don't like telling people these things, I like being anonymous.
I have never told my parents this, nor will I ever tell them.
I want to starve myself, I hate myself so much.
Everytime I think about all the negative things that affect me, I begin to cry, not hard, tears here and there.
There is nothing that I find positive, accept my friends and girlfriend.
Ive read around this site and advice is to think of happy thoughts etc.
Well here is the big problem.
There is a big chance I am moving 3 hours away from the current city i'm located at the moment.
This greatly upsets me, and makes me want to leave and not come back, so my parents leave without me or something.
I really don't know what to do, Many times I have wanted to kill myself, and that's something nobody but I will know.
I feel alone all the time, that nobody cares about me, yeah my parents 'love' me, but I still feel like i'm worthless.
I really don't know what else to do, what I have planned out is that a few days before my parents move, I leave and not come back.
I'm unsure what I am to do, there is nothing positive to think about.
Everyone says "You will make new friends.", "There are other girls out there."
Well since I believe that I am fat that there is a one and a million I will get a girl as sweet as I have now.
So I'm pretty upset, and I don't know what to do, as there is nothing positive to think about in my future.
Everything that means the most to me at the moment, is being taken away.
I listen to music all the time, but it seems to just delay, eventually, I will start thinking about everything again.
If there is anything you think can help me, please let me know.
Sincerely,
Depressed Anonymous.
I don't come for you to counsel me, I'm pretty much here to vent.
So I have my group of friends, not alot, but there all good.
There are 2 problems that are putting me down.
1st is School, I absolutely HATE School.
Most of my friend group is there, and a little outside.
I'm 14, I'm 5"9, and I'm 184 pounds.
I'm taller than most kids, but I see myself as obese.
Just the sight of looking at myself makes me upset.
And I have a low self-asteem, I get called fat by girls all the time.
See now if it would be guys, I would drop their ass fast.
Verbally girls hurt me more, I try to ignore, but the sadness catches up with me.
At home, all my parents think of me is some lazy kid on the computer all the time.
I have friends, I have a girlfriend who I care about alot.
My Mother is a big problem to me, there isn't one day where she doesn't verbally abuse me and swear at me.
She thinks I eat all the time, and it really hurts.
My father is nice, he doesn't judge me.
I don't like telling people these things, I like being anonymous.
I have never told my parents this, nor will I ever tell them.
I want to starve myself, I hate myself so much.
Everytime I think about all the negative things that affect me, I begin to cry, not hard, tears here and there.
There is nothing that I find positive, accept my friends and girlfriend.
Ive read around this site and advice is to think of happy thoughts etc.
Well here is the big problem.
There is a big chance I am moving 3 hours away from the current city i'm located at the moment.
This greatly upsets me, and makes me want to leave and not come back, so my parents leave without me or something.
I really don't know what to do, Many times I have wanted to kill myself, and that's something nobody but I will know.
I feel alone all the time, that nobody cares about me, yeah my parents 'love' me, but I still feel like i'm worthless.
I really don't know what else to do, what I have planned out is that a few days before my parents move, I leave and not come back.
I'm unsure what I am to do, there is nothing positive to think about.
Everyone says "You will make new friends.", "There are other girls out there."
Well since I believe that I am fat that there is a one and a million I will get a girl as sweet as I have now.
So I'm pretty upset, and I don't know what to do, as there is nothing positive to think about in my future.
Everything that means the most to me at the moment, is being taken away.
I listen to music all the time, but it seems to just delay, eventually, I will start thinking about everything again.
If there is anything you think can help me, please let me know.
Sincerely,
Depressed Anonymous.