Hello everybody. You can call me Knot. i'm 20, and a guy. first post on this forums. anyway i'll get right to the point, sorry if this post is really long
I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years. lets call her K for short. We've had out ups and downs like any other couple, but she's just been annoying me like no tomarrow latly. i've been getting frustrated at her, angry, upset, and alot of other things. i have politly told her to stop on more than 1 occation but it dosent seam to work.
K is kind of an emotional and jelous personality. she gets over jelous to the point where she'll break out in tears about it. she complains about her parents, and siblings every day to me. sometimes the same problems some up day after day. i try giving her suggestions but it's allways "no it's ok" or "i'll try but i dont know" she is a very nice girl though. allways a pleasure to talk to and be with. she's fun when your just getting to know her. and she really cares. she will say she loves you and mean it 100%. she will allways be their for you no matter what. but sometimes it goes to far. also if your in a relationship with her she questions the relationship every day, and contradicts herself on serious discussions. Example. i was talking to her last night and she said she didnt question our relationship, yet today when we had an argument about a topic i will mention in a second, she said she wakes up and questions herself on if she's doing the right thing with her family, herself, and in the relationship.
On top of this, i've had strong feelings for my X girlfriend. we'll call her R. i dated R for about a year, and had to lie to K about how we used to have a great time together and all the fun we had. K is a very jelous person. i recently told her the truth about R a half a year ago. situation ended up sucking really bad. we almost broke up but got back together. ever since then i've been thinking alot about R. mostly about the past. she was a better girlfriend than K and we broke up because i was Naive and couldent take the pressure of a relationship. she was going through a hard time and i broke it off because i felt useless when in reality i was helping her durring the whole thing. she just didnt show it much because thats how she was. we stayed good friends afterwards tho.
I loved being with her tho. she was strong, she carried herself with such faness, she was ditsy but it was cute, she told you what she was thinking, i had problems about prying problems out of her, but i loved making her feel better and seeing her smile. she was one of those girls who you thought was weird because she didnt talk, and if you did talk to her about things, or she didnt trust you 100% she would grey things up. like she would never tell you she loved onebody. she'd say she likes him, or she wouldent love a video game, but she'd find it ok, but if you knew her and she trusted you 100% she'd tell you what she loved, and what she hated and so on. gladly i became one of those few people who she told people those things and have been for 6 years, and she was georgious to boot. she showed me so many things. I used to be an internet idiot before she taught me things, my Favorite anime is her's, my Favorite movie is hers, I even made a game server after a game she showed me before we started dating.
but sadly we've been out of contact for a year now. good thing to know she still trusts me like she used to
i talked to R recently, and she said she was dating somebody she liked from work. i told her about how i was feeling. she said i should stay with K because she would be their for me when ever i needed her. she said she tried to get me back for 2 years after we broke up. after the phone call i thought back to everything we did together after we broke up and i started to see it. that i could have had something great. i started dating K and the things just slowed down and eventually stopped. I felt like such an idiot. i feel so much regret for leaving her now that i'm older, to the point where i almost hate myself for it. i'm not a very confident person to begin with so this just adds to it.
now i have a stong urge to break up with K and ask R for another chance. but she told me she's dating someone and by the way she was talking to me, wants to see how it goes with her boyfriend. K says she dosent want me back, and i understand if she dosent. i just dont know what to do. i'm affraid of what may happen with K if i do leave because she used to be addicted to some bad substances, and suicidal. she isnt anymore but she had told me she most likly would if anything happened. I love her. i really do. i just dont know...we have the same friends, and again with the past things with her i'm scared of what might happen...
On top of this, My Father who i am extremely close with has Brain cancer (the same kind Senator kennedy had) exept it's smaller, and at any moment he could just have a seizure and not come back. he's was diagnosed for a year now. I'm holding my mom from breaking appart, i'm keeping my father from exploding in anger, my grandmother isnt doing much for the family (she lives with us), my other Grandmother (my dads mom) is an annoying pest My father and i wish would just get out our lives (they had a VERY bad past. not like a teenager exagerated past but the kind of past where he went to his friends for the weekend after an argument and she changed the locks on the house bad)
I need to get into College, i need to find a new job, and currently i'm trying to become a Professional Starcraft 2 player.
And for this entire time, i've been trying to be happy, out going, and optomistic. but i cant do it anymore. I dont know how i've kept my composure for all this time, but adding the thing with R on top of it is breaking me to the ground. my psychologist is helping but my appointments are 5 weeks appart usually. i requested for closer sessions but she said all the other psychologists moved to a different practice, and she had all their pacients from the current practice so she was booked at 2 locations.
i dont know what i need right now. i dont know if i need to be alone, to know atleast 1 person knows about this, idono if i need advice, or just to vent, buti just feel like i'm crazy right now and need the funny coat. any replies would be appreciated. i've rained my composure temperarily for now.
I'm not suicidal by the way so no worries about that.
I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years. lets call her K for short. We've had out ups and downs like any other couple, but she's just been annoying me like no tomarrow latly. i've been getting frustrated at her, angry, upset, and alot of other things. i have politly told her to stop on more than 1 occation but it dosent seam to work.
K is kind of an emotional and jelous personality. she gets over jelous to the point where she'll break out in tears about it. she complains about her parents, and siblings every day to me. sometimes the same problems some up day after day. i try giving her suggestions but it's allways "no it's ok" or "i'll try but i dont know" she is a very nice girl though. allways a pleasure to talk to and be with. she's fun when your just getting to know her. and she really cares. she will say she loves you and mean it 100%. she will allways be their for you no matter what. but sometimes it goes to far. also if your in a relationship with her she questions the relationship every day, and contradicts herself on serious discussions. Example. i was talking to her last night and she said she didnt question our relationship, yet today when we had an argument about a topic i will mention in a second, she said she wakes up and questions herself on if she's doing the right thing with her family, herself, and in the relationship.
On top of this, i've had strong feelings for my X girlfriend. we'll call her R. i dated R for about a year, and had to lie to K about how we used to have a great time together and all the fun we had. K is a very jelous person. i recently told her the truth about R a half a year ago. situation ended up sucking really bad. we almost broke up but got back together. ever since then i've been thinking alot about R. mostly about the past. she was a better girlfriend than K and we broke up because i was Naive and couldent take the pressure of a relationship. she was going through a hard time and i broke it off because i felt useless when in reality i was helping her durring the whole thing. she just didnt show it much because thats how she was. we stayed good friends afterwards tho.
I loved being with her tho. she was strong, she carried herself with such faness, she was ditsy but it was cute, she told you what she was thinking, i had problems about prying problems out of her, but i loved making her feel better and seeing her smile. she was one of those girls who you thought was weird because she didnt talk, and if you did talk to her about things, or she didnt trust you 100% she would grey things up. like she would never tell you she loved onebody. she'd say she likes him, or she wouldent love a video game, but she'd find it ok, but if you knew her and she trusted you 100% she'd tell you what she loved, and what she hated and so on. gladly i became one of those few people who she told people those things and have been for 6 years, and she was georgious to boot. she showed me so many things. I used to be an internet idiot before she taught me things, my Favorite anime is her's, my Favorite movie is hers, I even made a game server after a game she showed me before we started dating.
but sadly we've been out of contact for a year now. good thing to know she still trusts me like she used to
i talked to R recently, and she said she was dating somebody she liked from work. i told her about how i was feeling. she said i should stay with K because she would be their for me when ever i needed her. she said she tried to get me back for 2 years after we broke up. after the phone call i thought back to everything we did together after we broke up and i started to see it. that i could have had something great. i started dating K and the things just slowed down and eventually stopped. I felt like such an idiot. i feel so much regret for leaving her now that i'm older, to the point where i almost hate myself for it. i'm not a very confident person to begin with so this just adds to it.
now i have a stong urge to break up with K and ask R for another chance. but she told me she's dating someone and by the way she was talking to me, wants to see how it goes with her boyfriend. K says she dosent want me back, and i understand if she dosent. i just dont know what to do. i'm affraid of what may happen with K if i do leave because she used to be addicted to some bad substances, and suicidal. she isnt anymore but she had told me she most likly would if anything happened. I love her. i really do. i just dont know...we have the same friends, and again with the past things with her i'm scared of what might happen...
On top of this, My Father who i am extremely close with has Brain cancer (the same kind Senator kennedy had) exept it's smaller, and at any moment he could just have a seizure and not come back. he's was diagnosed for a year now. I'm holding my mom from breaking appart, i'm keeping my father from exploding in anger, my grandmother isnt doing much for the family (she lives with us), my other Grandmother (my dads mom) is an annoying pest My father and i wish would just get out our lives (they had a VERY bad past. not like a teenager exagerated past but the kind of past where he went to his friends for the weekend after an argument and she changed the locks on the house bad)
I need to get into College, i need to find a new job, and currently i'm trying to become a Professional Starcraft 2 player.
And for this entire time, i've been trying to be happy, out going, and optomistic. but i cant do it anymore. I dont know how i've kept my composure for all this time, but adding the thing with R on top of it is breaking me to the ground. my psychologist is helping but my appointments are 5 weeks appart usually. i requested for closer sessions but she said all the other psychologists moved to a different practice, and she had all their pacients from the current practice so she was booked at 2 locations.
i dont know what i need right now. i dont know if i need to be alone, to know atleast 1 person knows about this, idono if i need advice, or just to vent, buti just feel like i'm crazy right now and need the funny coat. any replies would be appreciated. i've rained my composure temperarily for now.
I'm not suicidal by the way so no worries about that.
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