i feel very lonly

[Guest]

so i'm a lad in sixth form. i'm clever and i'm managing very well with school.
but just recently my best mate, for about 4 years, left and with him i feel like i've kind of lost all my friends.
i spend most of my free periods and lunch in the library because i have a lot of work to do. but the group of friends that i'm in hang out in front of the school and go into town during frees. i try to be sociable and join them but whenever i do i just find myself standing there saying nothing, feeling awkward. most of them are people i know well and like, but i never seem to be able to interact with them in a group.
this combined with the fact that i'm not very confident with new people it's bit like the phrase "water water everywhere but not a drop to drink". i'm surrounded by friends but feel so alone.
i find myself becoming more and more withdrawn, living life within myself just getting things done, not enjoying much.

to be honest i'm not sure what i hope to gain from posting this here but maybe at least writing this out has helped me understand myself more, and maybe there's someone reading this who could offer usefull words.

[-paradox-]

This is almost definitely a mild or possibility somewhat severe case of depression. I'm not doctor but this is based off of one of my best friends and myself. Before I go on may I ask if your friend leaving you is moving away or leaving as in passing on?

[Guest]

This is almost definitely a mild or possibility somewhat severe case of depression. I'm not doctor but this is based off of one of my best friends and myself. Before I go on may I ask if your friend leaving you is moving away or leaving as in passing on?

his dad got a new job on the other side of the country

[-paradox-]

Alright then this isn't too bad. I know you still feel alone because he's gone but it's a little selfish to get down just because his family has moved away and they may be happier or more successful. This type of selfishness is common though, we all do this, but to get back onto your situation we have to analyze why you feel awkward around your group of friends. How long have you felt akward with them? Was this this case when your best friend was here or is this being triggered by him leaving?

[Guest]

pretty much since i started high school and have been part of the group.
the friends who left was even more shy than me and didn't really know many people in the group that well, so we both kind of failed to socialise togethor in some respect.

---

the *friend* who left

[-paradox-]

Ah alright. So you're not very comfortable with yourself? If you want to socialize but simply can't due to insecurities or something like that you have to start seeing what you like about yourself, or what your best friend liked about you. What are you interested in that others at your school may also enjoy?

[Guest]

i'm not perticularly uncomfortable with myself.
not to say that i'm happy with who i am but i have a pretty solid idea.

i'm the nerdy one:
i'm taking maths firther maths physics and chemistry and so far it's mostly been rather simple. people come to me at lunch to help them with there school work
i'm hopelessly unsociable in groups but relativly confident talking one on one
i never go to parties or get drunk, or generally do anything

[-paradox-]

Pick up a hobby, I don't suggest partying or getting drunk though simply because you aren't feeling well. Alcohol shouldn't be your escape so it's good you're not drinking or anything. Don't call yourself the nerdy one either, subconsciously that may have an effect on what you think of yourself. (Labeling theory) You do however need a hobby, it's difficult for some to connect with a social group. Not everyone is outgoing, so you have to find others that enjoy what you enjoy.

What do you enjoy?

[Guest]

i do have hobby's but they fall into specific times of the week and don't really spread into anything else.

[-paradox-]

What are the hobbies?