Here we go again...

[FaDeD-NiNjA]

Alright, none of you know about any of my past, so I'll fill you in on a few details first, and I'll try to keep the wall-o-text down.

Several months back I had a lot of problems with a few people, I was into a lot of crap/crimes/etc, not a good lifestyle to cut it short. I was depressed, always angry, had an entire notebook filled with ideas and plans of killing them all, how to do it, different ways, how to get to each one, suicide plans and ideas for after, I got really close to someone and I just changed my mind one day.

She changed my thought process, but now that she's gone, I'm having these thoughts again, I lay in bed for hours doing absolutely nothing, feeling depressed and moody, and I'm filling a new notebook. I wont say I'm suicidal as in straight up killing myself, but I don't fear danger, or death, or any of that. A lot of things I find myself doing are dangerous and usually life threatening. I don't want to 'go see someone'.

Also, I've had a history of anger problems, but they seem much worse now and more violent. Right now my ex is being a nightmare (One before last, not the one I just lost. She's a cheating bitch, but that's another story) she's making this a lot worse. I really don't feel like existing, life is so..boring to me.

And one last thing, could this happen for the rest of my life? It's happened once, and here it is again, will it keep going?
Ideas, opinions, thoughts?

[Thomas]

Do you have a friend that you could trust these thoughts to? I think you'd get more out of it if you confessed these feelings to someone you know. However, if you don't I'd be more than glad to share my opinions with you.

[Nemmyy]

It's highly unlikely that your life will stay this way. Get out of your house and go do things, anything. It'll keep your mind off of the bad thoughts and cheer you up. Try to find new friends and even a girlfriend, and like Thomas suggested, tell your feelings to them because it'll make you feel better.

[FaDeD-NiNjA]

Do you have a friend that you could trust these thoughts to? I think you'd get more out of it if you confessed these feelings to someone you know. However, if you don't I'd be more than glad to share my opinions with you.

I have a really close friend but she's in no condition, emotionally, to help.
And I'm open to any thoughts or opinions on this.

It's highly unlikely that your life will stay this way. Get out of your house and go do things, anything. It'll keep your mind off of the bad thoughts and cheer you up. Try to find new friends and even a girlfriend, and like Thomas suggested, tell your feelings to them because it'll make you feel better.

I do get out a little bit, not enough obviously. I'm pretty anti-social, so It's not like I go out to dinner with friends or play sports, etc. So a lot of things I do are by myself, so it's not that distracting.

[Virtual Reality]

life is so..boring to me.

I feel the same way. Reading this though, did help me motivate myself. If life is boring, then it is OUR responsibility to make it fun. Nobody is going to come by and change the way you look and feel about your life. YOU have to do it, it is YOUR responsibility.

Knowing this, you can now go out and do your very best to HAVE FUN. After all, what do you have to lose? Set aside the temporary consequences, and do something for yourself.

I am saying this WITH LIMITS, of course. I am not suggesting you go rob a bank and buy a new TV, I am suggesting that you look at life from a different perspective.

Good Luck!
- VR

[Amslappy]

Its alright to resent someone to planning out these things, just don't act on these desires, life will get better, i recommend getting involved in sports and stuff u like.

If u wnna go moar in detail ill talk with u via pm.

[FaDeD-NiNjA]

I feel the same way. Reading this though, did help me motivate myself. If life is boring, then it is OUR responsibility to make it fun. Nobody is going to come by and change the way you look and feel about your life. YOU have to do it, it is YOUR responsibility.

Knowing this, you can now go out and do your very best to HAVE FUN. After all, what do you have to lose? Set aside the temporary consequences, and do something for yourself.

I am saying this WITH LIMITS, of course. I am not suggesting you go rob a bank and buy a new TV, I am suggesting that you look at life from a different perspective.

Good Luck!
- VR

Yeah I'd do something, but I live uber far from town and there isn't anything amusing or fun to do where I am.

Its alright to resent someone to planning out these things, just don't act on these desires, life will get better, i recommend getting involved in sports and stuff u like.

If u wnna go moar in detail ill talk with u via pm.

Like I said, I'm uber far from town.