Life decisions

[Minus-Zero]

Okay...

Well you know how me and my gf have been having issues.
Yesterday she called to break up with me, although I was going to do this already. It hurt so much knowing she already wanted too.
I don't get it though, she must have had the exact things going through her head. The same things that I have been thinking. I love her and I still think she loves me. I want to be with her...

Anyways, she was on the verge of bursting out into tears. Although I couldn't let her so I made her laugh instead. I have not heard from her today and I miss her more then before. I sat in my chair last night only to think about her. She is the girl that I think about when trying to sleep. She is the first person on my mind and the last person off.

Anyways, with all that has happened. I have decided my random personality leads me to have poor relationships. I never before could keep a long relationship. As much as I tried, I always purposely did something wrong or I brokle up with them.

For almost 2 years I dated a girl for 2 weeks and then had a new one. WHich suited my personality and I moved enough to keep a steady supply of girls.

Then I dated a girl for a month, she cheated on me twice and I still forgave her. Then the sweetest and one of the most beautiful girls ever began dating me. I thought that this would last a long time. My random personality I went out on dates with other girls. She found out and I managed to keep her with me. I told her how I was going to move and she cried for days. She then broke up with me and began scolding me.

Then my most recent we dated for over 3 months and she accepted me for me. The random person who was completely insane. She didn't care that I was completely loco or that I was super smart. The fact she was a year older then me didnt bother her either. I was finally accepted for me.
Of course all that crap had to happen.

I am done with gettting attached for now, back to 2 weeks and gone.

I have decided to just change what I do every day.
One day I will go outside be athletic use up energy talk to people.
Next I might be in my room on the computer watching D grey Man.

Each day will be something new and hopefully it will suit me better.