06-20-2010, 09:50 AM
So my boyfriend and I found out a few weeks ago we are having a baby, and we were (and still are) completely ecstatic about it. We've been fighting a lot lately though and it's partially due to my rising hormones. I'm an emotional person as it is but the hormones are sooo hard to deal with and he's been saying lately that I need to deal with it and get it under control because he "can't do this forever." But he doesn't understand...
He used to be a drug addict, and has done a very good job at weening himself off of it since we started dating. He has said that having a baby will change him into a brand new person, which due to our fighting now I am worried isn't true. I do not like his friends at all, they are all irresponsible and drink every night and drugs every now and then. I used to know I could trust him but when he starts acting a certain way I know he's starting to not care...like this past week. Whenever he wants to go with his friends I try to either not let him or I don't leave his phone alone the whole time he's gone because I don't trust his friends. He ended up going swimming one afternoon with the worst friends of all of them, lied to me about drinking a drink which he thought had ecstasy in it...turned out it was meth (which he would never intentionally do, I know that part of it was not intentional), and for 2 days he could not come off of this high. I was SCARED, I thought he OD'd. So then he was supposed to be in the doghouse - i had full reign, right? Well he found out I hadn't told him I planned to go out of town today to my friend's surprise party. I never told him because I knew he'd try to stop me and say he wanted to spend the only weekend we have between his summer classes ending and mine beginning. He saw a text message, and now I AM the one in the doghouse. He went out with his friends last night, came home 3.5 hours later than he said he would. ANd this morning becuase I was upset about that and emotional from my hormones he left and went fishing with them.
I don't know what to do. I can't talk bad about him to my friends anymore, I've exhausted that resource. His parents are always there for me to talk with about our problems and understand but we haven't told them yet that I'm pregnant and they know he's abused drugs but he would have a coniption if I told them he did the other day. I feel lost and alone. He used to be there for me any time I needed him, but lately all he wants to do is get away. We have always talked about the day that we have children and dreamed about it, and it's finally happening, and he just never took into account the my hormones would quadruple and it would be very difficult at times.
I am not looking for "Oh boy, you're in trouble." I know what a lot of people will want to say. I just need a shoulder to cry on, because I have none right now. He loves me more than anything (I almost left him a while ago and I have never seen anyone so hysterical)...He would do anything for me and he does. He just doesn't understand my emotions right now and it brings out a side of him that I don't like. I just don't have time to write all the good stuff right now.
He used to be a drug addict, and has done a very good job at weening himself off of it since we started dating. He has said that having a baby will change him into a brand new person, which due to our fighting now I am worried isn't true. I do not like his friends at all, they are all irresponsible and drink every night and drugs every now and then. I used to know I could trust him but when he starts acting a certain way I know he's starting to not care...like this past week. Whenever he wants to go with his friends I try to either not let him or I don't leave his phone alone the whole time he's gone because I don't trust his friends. He ended up going swimming one afternoon with the worst friends of all of them, lied to me about drinking a drink which he thought had ecstasy in it...turned out it was meth (which he would never intentionally do, I know that part of it was not intentional), and for 2 days he could not come off of this high. I was SCARED, I thought he OD'd. So then he was supposed to be in the doghouse - i had full reign, right? Well he found out I hadn't told him I planned to go out of town today to my friend's surprise party. I never told him because I knew he'd try to stop me and say he wanted to spend the only weekend we have between his summer classes ending and mine beginning. He saw a text message, and now I AM the one in the doghouse. He went out with his friends last night, came home 3.5 hours later than he said he would. ANd this morning becuase I was upset about that and emotional from my hormones he left and went fishing with them.
I don't know what to do. I can't talk bad about him to my friends anymore, I've exhausted that resource. His parents are always there for me to talk with about our problems and understand but we haven't told them yet that I'm pregnant and they know he's abused drugs but he would have a coniption if I told them he did the other day. I feel lost and alone. He used to be there for me any time I needed him, but lately all he wants to do is get away. We have always talked about the day that we have children and dreamed about it, and it's finally happening, and he just never took into account the my hormones would quadruple and it would be very difficult at times.
I am not looking for "Oh boy, you're in trouble." I know what a lot of people will want to say. I just need a shoulder to cry on, because I have none right now. He loves me more than anything (I almost left him a while ago and I have never seen anyone so hysterical)...He would do anything for me and he does. He just doesn't understand my emotions right now and it brings out a side of him that I don't like. I just don't have time to write all the good stuff right now.