06-08-2010, 01:03 PM
wrote this up as it came into my head, fudge you if you think im trolling.
Well, today, i realised i mean nothing, nothing at all after i saw the girl i love off with another dude, i think ill give up. Just sit alone and do nothing. Noone can help me, i even typed this up;
what is my true purpose in life?
to live
to die
to create
to die
to invent
to kill
to die
to be happy...?
to be unhappy...?
to be sad
to be even sadder
to hurt others
to be a complete freakin retard.
to give up and let the sadness envelope me
to do nothing.
soon as i started typing "to do nothing" i started to cry... i dont want to mean nothing, its just that i do and cant do anything about it, i cant even accept the fact that im a failure and will never be loved again, i think im just going to give up, forget 'life' and let myself starve and rot. right now i cant veen be fudged with rpoper grammar even tho im a grammar nazi, life sucks, fudge IT, im going to actually do something, just to get the fudge back at him and her, lynch him? spray paint him? nothing? Right now i started crying again. the word 'nothing' seems to trigger that, fudge it, not good at anything. cant even make this shitty post make sense. recap, got no hope, mean nothing in the world and i might aswell die. fudge dieing, only pussys do that. Cant really lert this out with my IRL friends coz they all think im a hardnut, and if i tell them ive been crying ill never live it down. im not normaly this emo, just the occasional sadface, but since this happened, i just given up, nothing at all can help me. might aswell be dead.
but if i make new friends. ones that'll understand my plight? dought that'll happen, worth a try! hope :O finally, but what if i cant make new friends? i'll suck forever? hopes gone, i feel sad again, Emokid sad, thta bad? i know how people who have been opressed, turned into slaves feel now. im just a slave to life. one who'll never be free. Crying again. fudge, gotta keep ahold of myself. lots of fullstops so far. maybe thats something im good at? sentences? i despise my skills. qucik learner, top marks, yet i have under achieving friends? that dosent make me a 'nerd' right? Social status's can suck my balls. I dont care. I DONT freakin CARE. Only been 6 minutes and ive gone on a journey of discovery this far? contemplating works. i'm a decent thinker? but i fail at talking. I'm good at one thing, but crap at the opposite? 50% fantastic, 50% sack of crap? :/ would atleast like to be 51% fantastic, would make it even. So theres another flaw? crap at half of everything. the thing is, i dont see the good sides. i only see the bad. :/
Guess that isnt going to change soon. just thinking about this is going to do nothing, i should actually put into practice what im doing, but what if this all goes wrong? im normally optimistic, but today... pessimistic in the highest. Guess ima stop being whiney and actually do something. fudge this,
14 mins total time. and ive come to this? this deserves a happyface even though its all my flaws and crap?
Well, today, i realised i mean nothing, nothing at all after i saw the girl i love off with another dude, i think ill give up. Just sit alone and do nothing. Noone can help me, i even typed this up;
what is my true purpose in life?
to live
to die
to create
to die
to invent
to kill
to die
to be happy...?
to be unhappy...?
to be sad
to be even sadder
to hurt others
to be a complete freakin retard.
to give up and let the sadness envelope me
to do nothing.
soon as i started typing "to do nothing" i started to cry... i dont want to mean nothing, its just that i do and cant do anything about it, i cant even accept the fact that im a failure and will never be loved again, i think im just going to give up, forget 'life' and let myself starve and rot. right now i cant veen be fudged with rpoper grammar even tho im a grammar nazi, life sucks, fudge IT, im going to actually do something, just to get the fudge back at him and her, lynch him? spray paint him? nothing? Right now i started crying again. the word 'nothing' seems to trigger that, fudge it, not good at anything. cant even make this shitty post make sense. recap, got no hope, mean nothing in the world and i might aswell die. fudge dieing, only pussys do that. Cant really lert this out with my IRL friends coz they all think im a hardnut, and if i tell them ive been crying ill never live it down. im not normaly this emo, just the occasional sadface, but since this happened, i just given up, nothing at all can help me. might aswell be dead.
but if i make new friends. ones that'll understand my plight? dought that'll happen, worth a try! hope :O finally, but what if i cant make new friends? i'll suck forever? hopes gone, i feel sad again, Emokid sad, thta bad? i know how people who have been opressed, turned into slaves feel now. im just a slave to life. one who'll never be free. Crying again. fudge, gotta keep ahold of myself. lots of fullstops so far. maybe thats something im good at? sentences? i despise my skills. qucik learner, top marks, yet i have under achieving friends? that dosent make me a 'nerd' right? Social status's can suck my balls. I dont care. I DONT freakin CARE. Only been 6 minutes and ive gone on a journey of discovery this far? contemplating works. i'm a decent thinker? but i fail at talking. I'm good at one thing, but crap at the opposite? 50% fantastic, 50% sack of crap? :/ would atleast like to be 51% fantastic, would make it even. So theres another flaw? crap at half of everything. the thing is, i dont see the good sides. i only see the bad. :/
Guess that isnt going to change soon. just thinking about this is going to do nothing, i should actually put into practice what im doing, but what if this all goes wrong? im normally optimistic, but today... pessimistic in the highest. Guess ima stop being whiney and actually do something. fudge this,
14 mins total time. and ive come to this? this deserves a happyface even though its all my flaws and crap?