Well...Here it goes.

[Derrick]

Well, I've lived my life as an obese person, Since the day I was born I was overweight. I went through elementary school being tortured everday by other kids (Kids these days are mean.) Which affected me alot. Then came middle school, and I was dreading that more then anything, Older kids, Harsher words, right? Right. From 7th-10th grade kids still picked on me everyday and I wondered, "When will this world grow up?" Then in the middle of my tenth grade year, A new school opened in my district. This was a school for the "Sociably Challenged". In other words, for the kids who couldn't make it regular high school due to social inequalties. My guidance counsoler felt I was eligable to join this school because of my weight and (as she put it) "my lack of freinds." So I said "eh, Why the fudge not?" The next week I was sent to the interview to choose the teacher, and 2 weeks after that started the school. It's a nice school, 14 kids total and two teachers. I learn alot more and get alot more work done. (I'll actually be able to graduate with my orignal class instead of a year later.) and the first year was amazing, we allowed to go out 3 times a day to smoke a cigarette, and our teachers were like our second Mom and Dad. Until our male teacher Scott got fired. Which felt like losing my father all over again. (What teacher do you know that will spend $400 on clothes for you because you're family can't afford them?) He was fired because he wouldn't be the Principle's "Little Bitch" as he put it. So the next year we get Gerry, Who is beyond a complete butthead, Ex-military who thinks he is better then everyone and should complete control. But enough of that, lets get to the point of this thread. In September we got a new girl, Crystalanne. I literally feel in love with her within like 3 seconds, She is beautiful, not so smart, but amazing nonetheless. At first I didn't say anything to her, until after 2 weeks into the school, I was busy trying to play Runescape in school (I was living the nerd life then). When she comes up and is like "Hi!" (Scaring the crap outta me and making me lose like 2m ) So, we start to have a conversation and didn't stop until we had to leave 2 hours later. (It was a friday which means we don't have to do school work). I added her on myspace and we talked all night and talked everyday for like 3 months after that. Then one day, me being fudged up on alot of drugs tell her that I am in love with her and really wanted to be with her. She tells me that she loves me but, can't take the chance to be hurt anymore. 2 weeks later she has a boyfriend. This pretty much crushed me because she had been saying she loved me and everything, and its confusing for me becuase I haven't had very good luck with girls and not sure how she "loved" me, You know, Loved me for me or loved me as an "Us." Well, Recently she broke up with her boyfriend, and I again get excited thinking "Maybe I have a chance." So I tell that I really wanna be with her and all she said "I'm sorry D-Rock, I really am, But I just can't" So naturally, I asked why? and she has yet to talk to me and I'm not sure what to do.


I know that this is kinda my whole life story, but it's 18 years of not being able to talk to anyone and, I figured I might as well vent on the internet where, no one knows me and I can actually get everything out that I feel.

Thanks for reading.